Ethics, what do I do here (Semi-Poker Related) HELP

[Blarg]

He bought sneakers? Doesn't sound like a guy in much trouble to me.

If he were straight up, he would have asked to borrow money in the first place, not asked for a rescue after it's too late and when he figures he can pile on the guilt. That's slimy and dumb.

It sounds like he is asking about how you're doing in poker first as a way to make you think it's not "real money." If that's so, then he doesn't have to pay it back like "real money," either. Easy come easy go after all -- especially when the coming is on his side and the going is on yours.

Often you have to choose between friends and money. If you have to pay for your friendship, it wasn't worth having. You already say you envision him procrastinating and this getting uncomfortable later on. You already say he doesn't have a way of paying it back that he's wanting to use. Collections? LOL, he'll live with it. Lots of people do. You can't get blood from a stone; they can't come into a broke guy's house and steal the food out of his refrigerator.

You're not his parent. Sounds like it's time for him to grow up quite a bit and take responsibility for the messes he gets himself into. Don't let him burn you. A little hardship as a result of his own dumb behavior is so overdue it's almost mandatory.

Consider it a gift, pretty much asked for outright by an irresponsible guy in a stupid, kind of slimy way, and decide whether that's something you think is okay and you want to simply give it to him on that basis and never see it again. Because it's not worth worrying about getting paid back by him. Don't give him anything you haven't already counted as lost - perhaps along with your friendship. People who don't want to pay you back tend not to keep in touch once they've gotten what they want out of you.

[Blarg]

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Not giving him the money might ruin the friendship too...

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That's not a friendship, and it's not close.

[Jeff W]

If you lend him $300, you need to be prepared to never get that money back. My policy is never to loan money except to family and even then I usually regret it.

[obithrawn]

I'm also of this opinion. Loaning money to friends puts me in spots I dislike being in, typically.

[wheelz]

My friends still owe me 4k...

Don't give the guy the money if you envision needing the $300 any time soon.

[jkkkk]

really does depend on the type of person you are and the type of company you keep.

personally i can trust 95% of my friends with money if they ever need it because i know what type of person they are..

I don't think i would ever lend someone money if i thought they were never going to pay me back.

they need to learn to pay their own way.

[chesspain]

Allowing your friend to take the easy way out with respect to the money he owes will not: help your friendship, be good for your peace of mind, nor help him to learn responsibility. Your friend should get a job and/or contact the credit card company about making payments on this debt, assuming that he does not already have the option of making monthly payments.

[jtr]

It looks really bad that he asked how you were doing at poker before asking for the money. A better friend, if put in such an extreme spot that they had to ask to borrow money, would not check first about how poker was going. They would simply state their situation and ask whether you were able to help.

I don't think much rides on what you do here. Sorry but I think the friendship is dead already. As others have suggested, $300 seems a reasonable price to either a) get this deadbeat out of your life forever, or b) be pleasantly surprised to find out that he's not such a deadbeat after all when he pays it back without being reminded to.

(Although if he does repay you, you can bet there'll be a Homer Simpson moment in the future: "Hey -- remember when I paid you back that money I owed you? Well, now I want you to do a favour for me...".)

[dealer_toe]

I leant my friend $800 and it pretty much ruined our friendship. He had to pay rent and other things with it, so I thought yea why not. Well he put the money into something else thinking he could multiply that money. Well he got stiffed and said "well I can't pay you till (so and so) gets me that thing." And every time I mentioned it he tried to make me feel bad for asking. It really made me resent the fact that he'd do that to me and not even think twice about it. So yea it did ruin how close a friends we were.

[crunchy1]

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Anyway, what the hell should I do here? I'm completely undecided and lost.

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Having to ask this question has already provided the answer.