Popping the question

[PoBoy321]

AFAIK, there are only two rings, the engagement ring (which is the fancy one with the big diamond) and the wedding band which is the simple gold ring. I think that some people do some kind of promise ring thing, where they get engaged to be engaged, but I think that's kind of silly.

[PoBoy321]

There's actually a lot of symbolism that goes into the tradition of giving a diamond wedding ring, so I think that even a girl who isn't a money-grubbing whore is gonna want one.

I would check out BlueNile.com, they are supposedly despised by the diamond industry because they undercut the general market by so much.

[PokerGoblin]

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I'm only 19, so I don't plan on having to do this anytime in the near future, but I feel it's an area where I should be knowledgeable.

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This statement is so disturbing on so many levels.

Lucky for you I have had just enough beers to enlighten you.

Al Bundy said it best when he said:

"A man is a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife."

You say "I don't plan on having to do this..." Thats the thing. Society has brainwashed us into thinking that marriage is the natural progression of manhood. You get educated, you meet someone, you get married, you have kids... blah blah blah.

Why is it a prerequisite of adulthood to get married? Women feel this pressure more than men do. They get into their mid to late 20's and all of a sudden their friends of similar ages have families and it immediately becomes paramount that they follow suit. This of course increases the pressure on their S.O.s and on men in general exponentially.

You also say: "but I feel it's an area where I should be knowledgeable."

Why? Do you feel that it is your duty to be someone's 'knight in shining armor'? Do you feel obligated to someday be married?

The thing is, and the point of all this is that marriage is not a bad thing when it's done the right way with the right person. But I think that there is a pressure put on young men in our society to settle down and get married and conform to all the things that fit that mold. Those pressures were there when your parents married but I think they're worse now.

I remember when I was in college and I was 19 when I entered what was the first 'serious' relationship of my life. Her parents treated me like a son after we'd been together only a short time and they acted like it was a foregone conclusion that we'd one day get married after we'd both graduated and such... the point is I felt additional pressure because of the conclusions others had come to about things when I wasn't ready for the committment, not did I ever feel like it was something I might ever want for myself.

Obviously this comes agross as a drunken rant (and rightfully so) but the thing is, I don't care how serious things are between you and your g/f (if you even have a g/f), you have a lot fo things you need to experience before the idea of marriage even enters your head.

Establish your education and your employment. Live life and realize that the committments will still be possible later in life. Don't let outside influences dictate your priorities.

This rant is over.

PG

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I'm only 19, so I don't plan on having to do this anytime in the near future, but I feel it's an area where I should be knowledgeable.

[/ QUOTE ]

This statement is so disturbing on so many levels.

Lucky for you I have had just enough beers to enlighten you.

Al Bundy said it best when he said:

"A man is a man all his life, but a woman is only sexy until she becomes your wife."

You say "I don't plan on having to do this..." Thats the thing. Society has brainwashed us into thinking that marriage is the natural progression of manhood. You get educated, you meet someone, you get married, you have kids... blah blah blah.

Why is it a prerequisite of adulthood to get married? Women feel this pressure more than men do. They get into their mid to late 20's and all of a sudden their friends of similar ages have families and it immediately becomes paramount that they follow suit. This of course increases the pressure on their S.O.s and on men in general exponentially.

You also say: "but I feel it's an area where I should be knowledgeable."

Why? Do you feel that it is your duty to be someone's 'knight in shining armor'? Do you feel obligated to someday be married?

The thing is, and the point of all this is that marriage is not a bad thing when it's done the right way with the right person. But I think that there is a pressure put on young men in our society to settle down and get married and conform to all the things that fit that mold. Those pressures were there when your parents married but I think they're worse now.

I remember when I was in college and I was 19 when I entered what was the first 'serious' relationship of my life. Her parents treated me like a son after we'd been together only a short time and they acted like it was a foregone conclusion that we'd one day get married after we'd both graduated and such... the point is I felt additional pressure because of the conclusions others had come to about things when I wasn't ready for the committment, not did I ever feel like it was something I might ever want for myself.

Obviously this comes agross as a drunken rant (and rightfully so) but the thing is, I don't care how serious things are between you and your g/f (if you even have a g/f), you have a lot fo things you need to experience before the idea of marriage even enters your head.

Establish your education and your employment. Live life and realize that the committments will still be possible later in life. Don't let outside influences dictate your priorities.

This rant is over.

PG

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Dude, he's just asking about how the ring thing works. Well put though, I agree.

[EverettKings]

That's a really good post PG.

[PokerGoblin]

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Dude, he's just asking about how the ring thing works.

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Well I lost a bet with myself on how long it would take for someone to call me out on that.

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Well put though, I agree.

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Thanks I think.

[scotty34]

I don't really understand your rant and objection to my statement.

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You say "I don't plan on having to do this..." Thats the thing. Society has brainwashed us into thinking that marriage is the natural progression of manhood. You get educated, you meet someone, you get married, you have kids... blah blah blah.

[/ QUOTE ]

Where did I say that it is the natural progression of manhood? I don't plan on having to cook a lobster anytime soon either, and who knows, I may never cook a lobster. I may cook one next month. It's something that I am simply allowing for the possibility of.

[ QUOTE ]
You also say: "but I feel it's an area where I should be knowledgeable."

Why? Do you feel that it is your duty to be someone's 'knight in shining armor'? Do you feel obligated to someday be married?

[/ QUOTE ]

Again, in no way did I indicate I feel the obligation to marry someone ever. I feel I should have the knowledge of how it works though, in case the situation ever does come along. It could lead to some unsettling situations if I totally ignored these norms if I ever did decide to ask a girl to marry me.


I completely agree with your post, but I don't see how it applies to what I said.

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Dude, he's just asking about how the ring thing works.

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Well I lost a bet with myself on how long it would take for someone to call me out on that.

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Well put though, I agree.

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Thanks I think.

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You're welcome. What you said is correct, but I suspect OP knows he's not duty-bound . You my friend, though, may be the man who's going to lead us through this young millenium.

[PokerGoblin]

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I don't really understand your rant and objection to my statement.

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Most of my post was a generalization about society as a whole.

I never objected to your post, only that 19 is way too young to get married in almost every capacity.

Well if you are only interested in the subject for your own edification here's my take:

A lot of couples plan their marriage without there ever being as moment of 'popping the question'. I don't know the percentage of this, but I would have to figure it to be a significant amount.

Some people get married because the woman is pregnant. Some get married because they already have one or more kids together. Some get married because they've been dating and living together for seven years.

The point is, a lot of people get married because they think they are expected to be married based on circumstances. All I was getting at was make sure it's for the right reasons. 'No reason' is no reason to get married.

As far as proposing goes, a drunk lesbian friend of mine once said to me "chivalry is dead'. I don't think there's a wrong way. The more romantic you are about it, the more likely you are to get some ass for your efforts.

That is all.

PG

ooh, I'm sorry, the answer we were looking for was, "scoreboard at a basketball game".