I just demolished my Pacific bankroll

[joedot]

The funniest part is that yes, it did happen at about 2 am. How did you know? [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img] And then I couldn't drag myself away from the computer this morning, so I tried to do everything without a keyboard. I wouldn't recommend it. Having to copy and paste all these numbers and letter, and trying to log into my brokerage account etc. HAHA. That is hilarious now that I think about it. Maybe that's why I lost 600 trading today, cause I was so pissed about all the copying and pasting I was doing [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[AncientPC]

Maybe you should take a few days off. :shrug:

[joedot]

If I was playing poker as a hobby I agree. For me and in my situation, taking a few days off doesn't help. It actually increases my anxiety, because I am left stressing about whether I will ever win again, and until I get a few winning sessions under my belt, nothing will make me feel or play any better. I'm calmed down now though, playing tight and trying not to smash anything heh

[Allinlife]

come on man learn after your mistakes

don't be gambling more than 5% of your BR. Frame the broken keyboard and put it on top of wall facing your monitor so you remember what the hell you just did.

[gusly]

Well, if you can't take a few days off, find a way to blow off steam without destroying the tools of your trade.

Maybe put some old computer monitors and junk in your backyard, keep a baseball bat next to the back door, and anytime you suffer a really bad beat, just rush out there and pulverize that shite.

Of course, you might have some trouble using this method at B&M cardrooms...

[theantelope]

Not a good idea. Psychological research shows that "blowing off steam" by acting aggressively in no way relieves the tension in the intermediate to long-run, and only makes the problem progressively worse.

[Jay36489]

Interesting story Joe. I think you're doomed as a pro but good luck. Maybe invest in some valium?

[DeucesUp]

[ QUOTE ]
I hope you're not right, but I won't rule it out. I have been living off poker for 2 years now, but I had my ups and downs. After I quit my job with only 2k in my roll, I built that to 8k. Then lost about 3k in gambling games, a couple k playing 80/160 on tilt trying to recoup, and lost all but about 200. I took a free 10 bucks on lucky nugget and turned that into 6500 in a month and a half, then grinded up to about 13k, and lost it all in the stock market save a few hundred again. That was last March. Since then I have been playing even better, and took the couple hundred to my present 11k, after this loss. I have learned a lot through these terrible experiences, but I suppose I always will be suceptible to doing something stupid if I'm not extremely careful. Unlike the previous two times, I am a lot more in control of my behaviour, but I obviously have a long way to go to become the perfect untiltable player, as evidenced by the smashed keyboard. If I were to lose what I have again, that will be it. It sucks to have to start all over from basically nothing. I've never had any help from family or anything either, and I would never ask anyone for money. So this is it. Anyway, I did make 500 today playing poker, but I played too high. About 15 minutes of 15/30 on Party, and the rest back at my usual game of 5/10 at Pacific. This isn't the way to get back on track, so after today I am going to try very hard to go back to my daily grind. Anyway, thanks for the advice all, now if you'll excuse me I need to go find the letter Q and Z.

[/ QUOTE ]

Whew, I don't want to sound cruel, but it sounds from this paragraph like you're headed for inevitable disaster, and maybe you shouldn't be gambling for living.

But I'm no expert, so I suggest you post your story over on the psychology forum and see what the folks over there have to say. There's a bunch of compasionate, bright folks who might be able to help you out, including Dr. Al Schoonmaker, a psychologist and top notch poker player. I think he's out of town for a couple of weeks, but when he's around he goes way out of his way to provide excellent advice.

[PhatCasino]

everything happens at 2am!!!

yo, theres an ON-Screen Keyboard. it's in windows.. next time this happens remember that.. haha

[gusly]

[ QUOTE ]
Not a good idea. Psychological research shows that "blowing off steam" by acting aggressively in no way relieves the tension in the intermediate to long-run, and only makes the problem progressively worse.

[/ QUOTE ]

My post is half in jest... but even so, I don't agree with you. Psychologists say that keeping things bottled up can be worse than letting off steam. Obviously, Psychology is not hard science. And just to be clear, IMHO there is a difference between acting aggressively toward human beings, and acting aggressively toward inanimate objects that have no value and have been set up specifically to receive your physical abuse.

The "backyard baseball bat" is a short-term fix. It's really just a way of saying, hey, direct your anger toward things that will not affect your game play. Get up from the keyboard so you won't throw away money in anger and frustration. Don't play poker until you're calm and can think clearly.

I'm sure that with time, if my plan were followed, the amount of time spent bashing things in the backyard would gradually diminish, and time spent making money at poker would increase... [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]

But seriously, to the original poster, I do think like the others that you need to figure out a way to remain "in the zone" when playing poker. Anger clouds your thinking, and cloudy thinking always leads to losing poker.