Just another sorry thirty-something! - Page 2

LSUfan1 · #11 11-01-2005, 05:57 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Is this a recent, sudden, or gradual change?

If it happened over a relatively short period of time, seroiusly consider the fact that she's cheating on you. In any case, I'd also advise going to a marriage counselor/psychiatrist type of person. They'll be able to root out the problem - whether there's an acceptable solution is a whole other thing - and its easily worth the expense.

[/ QUOTE ]

I have been over this one in my mind for some time, but I don't think this is the case. My son is now 3, and since his birth things have been quite slow. I know many women go through this after pregnancy, but I was hoping we would be back to normal by now.

I think the shrink might just be the way to go.

Thanks

BoogerFace · #12 11-01-2005, 05:58 PM

Are you sure it's not because you are a stay-at-home dad?

Some women have funny ideas about men who don't bring home the bacon.

LSUfan1 · #13 11-01-2005, 06:00 PM

[ QUOTE ]

Are you sure it's not because you are a stay-at-home dad?

Some women have funny ideas about men who don't bring home the bacon.

[/ QUOTE ]

Completely her idea! But I guess its not out of the question.

jakethebake · #14 11-01-2005, 06:01 PM

Hate to bring this up, but are you sure she's not already getting it someplace else?

samjjones · #15 11-01-2005, 06:01 PM

Perhaps your wife has poor self-esteem, and doesn't feel sexually attractive. Or conversely, maybe she isn't as attracted to you as she once was.

jakethebake · #16 11-01-2005, 06:02 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Perhaps your wife has poor self-esteem, and doesn't feel sexually attractive.

[/ QUOTE ]

This happens to lots of women when they have kids.

samjjones · #17 11-01-2005, 06:03 PM

And if this is the case, the only thing you can do is give her space. Maybe try to exercise together or something. Try to convince her that she is still attractive and turns you on.

Dominic · #18 11-01-2005, 06:04 PM

Do you look the same now? If you've gained a lot of weight or something, maybe she just doesn't find you attractive anymore.

Sending her off on "girl" weekends is not a good idea. If you're not having sex, you should at least be trying to get things going again with a fun weekend trip - together. Plus, it gives her a very easy way to get HER physical needs satisfied without you knowing about it.

Seriously - her saying she's "stressed out" is not an valid excuse. Something is wrong and you need to make it very clear that you love her, you want her, but you are not going to spend the next 50 years in a sexless marriage. So she needs to A) start happily banging you again, or, B) go to a therapist together.

3 years is too long to wait for someone's libido to come back.

Good luck!

LSUfan1 · #19 11-01-2005, 06:05 PM

[ QUOTE ]
Perhaps your wife has poor self-esteem, and doesn't feel sexually attractive. Or conversely, maybe she isn't as attracted to you as she once was.

[/ QUOTE ]

Both of these are very valid points. She does have a somewhat low self-image (although she looks better today then she did when we met). I have put on a few pounds over the years, but I am currently training for next years triathlon season so maybe that one will take care of itself.

Thanks for the input.

jakethebake · #20 11-01-2005, 06:06 PM

[ QUOTE ]
And if this is the case, the only thing you can do is give her space.

[/ QUOTE ]

I disagree with this entirely. She needs to be reassured, and she needs to be reassured by you. Buy her lingerie. Go shopping and convince her to buy some sexy clothes. Take her to the...uhhh...adult novelty store. Do whatever you can to make her feel sexy.

edit: and when I say sexy, I don't mean romantic. Even a lot of women think they want to be romanced but they're wrong. If she's not feeling sexy then romance isn't what she needs. She needs to be made to feel hot!