Post your best hammered casino poker story here

[Riverman]

beavens, this reminds me of a bellagio experience I had.

Me and a buddy return from the strip club at about 2 AM and enter a 15-30 game that includes a local nit to my right. He immediately starts in on us for being drunk and slowing the game down. Now we were definitely being slow, but we were also capping/raising over half the hands- any suited, connected, paired, or remotely attractive cards for either one of us resulted in a raise, with us often getting pots capped preflop. Of course this idiot says were "ruining the game" blah blah blah I mean how hard can it be to realize this is a golden opportunity to make a big score and be nice to us. The nit is a dead ringer for Nikita Kruschev (sp?) so I call him Nikita and give him [censored] about being a nit and he gets mad back and says something about blowing my inheritance because "this isn't 4-8" and some other crap.

Anyway, he raises one hand and I coldcall with 9 7 and make a straight on the turn. He goes 4 bets with me on the turn and 2 on the river with his AA, and just totally loses it. I tip the dealer a bunch of reds and laugh my ass off as do most of the other players. He leaves, calling me names, and I scream at him to "ENJOY YOUR BUTTSEX, SIR." Probably uncalled for, but it sure was funny at the time.

Another thing that happened- on one hand I raised preflop and bet every street and some guy called me down with J high to win the pot. I playfully asked how he could call with jack high and he smiled and said, "I'm rich!" Didn't have a comeback for that one.

[beavens]

[ QUOTE ]
Another thing that happened- on one hand I raised preflop and bet every street and some guy called me down with J high to win the pot. I playfully asked how he could call with jack high and he smiled and said, "I'm rich!" Didn't have a comeback for that one.

[/ QUOTE ]

lol - i would say "nh" to that one-liner.

[zuluking]

Kinda long, but hope you like it...

I always have one drunken Blackjack/Craps night when I go to Vegas for a week. My friend and I picked Casino Royale on a this particular trip for the drinking fest. What a dump.

We started playing $5 BJ and drinking heavily at 8pm. By the time we left the sun was high in the sky, it was 10am the next morning. We stumbled back to the room and both passed out for 10 hours. I awoke to find my pockets stuffed full of C-notes, $2,300 in all. My friend had about $1,600. We had both left the room with $500 in cash, the rest locked away in the room safe the night before.

We made our way back to Casino Royale and were instantly treated like fcuking millionaires. Dealers were beckoning us to their tables, waitresses were 3-deep trying to get us a drink. The floor even came over and asked if he could get us ANYTHING!

I'm like, WTF is going on here? Come to find out that we won a $HITPOT of money playing drunken Blackjack the night/early morning before. I'm talking 3-4 grand each. We were betting $100 a hand after about 3am and don't even remember. We tipped away at least a thousand each to the dealers, floor, and waitresses.

I don't remember a bit of it nor do I regret it. Vegas baby, Vegas. [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[runnerunner]

[ QUOTE ]
"ENJOY YOUR BUTTSEX, SIR."

[/ QUOTE ]

NH.

[Al_Capone_Junior]

Hey Beavens, we all know you don't come to vegas to...

sleep

be sober

exercise a great deal of quality self control when it comes to gambling while drinking

Hell, the first time (when I was a tourist) I played at mandalay bay I was so confused it took me about an hour to find my car! Most of that time was trying to find the parking garage, and I even asked directions three times [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]! Don't even ask about trying to find my car at caesar's! [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img] Now I know why tourists are better off taking cabs!

al

[beavens]

haha - i love these stories!!

during the same trip as my drunken debacle:

my friend and i had just flown in from DC at about 12am vegas time. so after the drive up to DC and the flight, we were pretty tired. but we just got to vegas for the first time ever and to top it off, we decided to not book the room for that night - save money by just checking in the next day! hell, we only had to pull an allnighter - and this is vegas baby!

needingly to refuel, we hit up denny's and get some grub. needless to say, it was incredible.

after "dinner", we hit the strip to check things out. my friend had never been in a casino, so we poked our heads in Treasure Island, but didn't see anything we really liked. then we ended up in the Mirage, and decided to play a little 1-2 NL.

played until about 5am or so and decided to call it quits. i was up about only 15 and my friend was down some - no worries. at this point we have a little booze in us and are still pretty tired/jetlagged. time to explore some more.

went around a few more casinos and decided to check out Caesar's and the shops they had (remember this is at like 5:45am and they were all closed). we walked through the shops and whatnot, then walked back to the casino to leave.

ok, maybe blame it on the slightly drunk and majorly tired factor - but could NOT FIND THE EXIT!!

we saw a place that said 'exit', but there were 8 million "THIS IS NOT AN EXIT" signs around it!! we walked all over the casino looking for one - no luck. we went into the hotel - no luck. even walked around where the pool is! (apparently you weren't supposed to be there at that houe) there seemed to be a few construction exits, but we didnt want to risk it. so back in the casino we go.

we saw how we got IN the place - the escalators. but where were the ones going out?? we saw our only option - run up the 'going down' escalator. my friend managed without a problem to make the jump and begin the the downward stairs. i wasn't so lucky - i stumbled when i landed, but upon sight of those metal teeth i was able to correct myself and regain control. we then made our way going opposite of the moving sidewalks and finally exited back onto the strip. we were never the same after Caesar's, and i dont want to go into that death trap again!

we figure we were too tired to do anything else, so let's go and wait at the hotel until we can check in. no worries right?

well we get to the Riviera at about 7 or so - feeling ok.

thing that sucks about the Riviera - not much going on. lots of slots and old people. their poker 'section' is kinda a joke. the wait to check in was probably the worst time i've ever had. i was beyond tired, my legs were twitchy and ached, and we had nothing to do. for hours we'd walk around, come back to the sportsbook, pass out for a few minutes, walk around, wait - rinse and repeat.

finally it was nearing 11am and my friend was about to get in from colorado. we were so tired that we just sat in the lobby, right next to the elevators, waiting for him. people would come out the elevators and look down upon us with pity and resent. i swear we felt like second class citizens. one older woman even came up and asked "did they kick you boys out??" - classic. so finally our knight in shining armor walks through the door at about 12pm or so. we were psyched to see him, cause the room was in his name.

lo and behold - check-in isnt until FOUR PM!! [censored]! no way would could last that long! we felt defeated and on the brink of tears.

lucky for us, mgt decided to let people check in at 1pm instead. relieved, we got our bags from the captain and waited in line. as soon as we get in the room, my colorado friend asks if we want to get any food? we say "hell no", crank up AC, and pass out for a delicious 5 hours or so.

upon waking we took on vegas like it meant to be taken on.

great trip and well worth the losses in gambling!

[UATrewqaz]

Short and sweet.

My first trip to Tunica I've been playing up in the poker room at the Gold Strike for about 5-6 hours and finally make it downstairs at maybe 3 am to meet up with my friend who has probably had like 10 jack and cokes in the past hour or two.

He's like attempting to flirt with one of the drink girls who in fairness has a pretty decent body... and also two big brownish/blackish teeth that are very crooked.

Ah Mississippi.

[flapjack]

Last weekend I stayed at the MGM. On Friday night I went to KA with a friend of mine and his wife. After that we went to the blackjack tables and proceeded to get drunk. My buddy called it a night around 2:30 or 3:00. I went to the poker room to play some nice drunk low limit. I get seated in a typical 4/8 game with a half kill. I can barely walk straight but I figure I can still play with these people. I decide I will gamble it up early on to create a “wild gambling” image.

The floor man brings me a rack of blue and I tell say, “I loose way more than that, bring me three more racks.” The table takes notice as I stack my chips up.

I fold my first hand, I am drunk but I have some standards, only to see about 6 people limp after me. As the dealer is pulling in the chips I say, “Wow this looks like a big pot, I call.” I put four chips over the line. The dealer chuckles and pushes them back to me. I say, “No really, I call. I’ll play the board.” The dealer takes my chips and I hear “wow, never seen that before.” I didn’t win the pot, or even a share of it, but now everyone knows I am drunk and looking to gamble.

I spend the next couple of hours talking non stop. I wish I could remember the stuff I was saying because I had the whole table laughing. One time I raised and I got called by the next two players on my left. Both happened to be cops, one from DC and one from somewhere that I forgot. As the second one calls I say, “Oh no, here comes the Po Po.” They both fold when I bet the turn and I say, “Parole granted.” It was funny at the time. I also remember making fun of a guy who said, “Yikes-a-hootie” when he got raised. I got paper and pens from the floor and we had a contest to see how to spell Yikes-a-hootie. I spelled it yikesahooty. I was secretly glad I couldn’t spell it.

Another time I raised AK and got about 12 callers. I bet the flop for some reason that I can’t remember now, there was no Ace or King. On the turn I pick up a gut shot broadway. I say, “Dealer I need some serious help. You get half the pot if you bring me a winner.” River King. Checked around and my hand is good. I wish I had a picture of the other player’s faces when I pushed the dealer half the pot.

All this is leading up to one hand. I almost left but a girl at the table convinced me to stay. At this point I am down $120 or so. I remember thinking I’ve had so much fun I just wish I was up. The hand is dealt. Girl who talked me into staying opens with a raise. Guy two to my right makes it three bets. Before looking at my cards I make sniffing sounds and say,”Do you all smell that? (short pause) Smells like a big pot.” I check my cards, QJ of spades; a perfect suck out hand! I call, several other people call.

At this point I should mention that this was a kill pot. Flop comes QJ9, two clubs. Not a bad flop for my hand. When it gets to me I make it three bets and it comes back to me capped. It was capped by the girl who raised in first position. I figure I am behind and hope I am not drawing dead. Turn comes, board is now QJ9J. Sweet. I like my chances more now when she does not cap the turn. Turn gets capped four ways. This time it was the button who capped the turn.

I puss out on the river and just over call the buttons bet. He bet and two other people called before me. The hands were me: QJ, button: J9 (and I thought my preflop call was bad), Girl UTG: 99, Guy who hates money and paid off all the way: KK.

As the dealer is pushing me this gigantic pot, you could have heard a pin drop. Everyone is just staring mouth wide open at all that money going to me. I tip the dealer, then I tip everyone at the table either one or five dollars. I can’t remember how much it was. It takes me about the next four hands to stack all these chips. I color up and get a stack of green to go with my blues and assorted reds.

I had so much fun and finished up for the night. It’s sad that drunken 4/8 was my biggest win of the trip. I am going to have to try it more often.

[beavens]

these are some very entertaining stories, guys - keep em coming

This doesn't beat others for coolness, but I still think it's pretty funny.

Business trip to Kansas City, there's a bar that hosts a NL free tournament every week. So a few of us went, and I started in on my Jack and Cokes. Apparently the waitress wanted to cut me off, but my friends said I was okay...what are friends for? I do remember winning the tournament and a poker tabletop that I've never used. But here's the fun bit. According to one of my friends, I had a nut flush on the last hand to knock out the two remaining players. However, he swore I had three cards in my hand and "hid" the extra card behind my "real cards" when I tabled the flush. I'm amazed I had the presence of mind to do that.

One guy I saw at Bellagio dropped eight or nine racks of white because he had so much beer, the waitress was just bringing them by every visit. Complete calling station. By the end of the night, he went on a huge rush and made all his money back and then some.

ScottieK