Why is playing poker so stressful to me?

[MarkSummers]

I'm a senior in college and have built up a $50 bankroll to a healthy size and am mostly playing $10/$20 limit online. I've been playing this limit for a while but when I play, I get really stressed out by it.

For example, say someone raises and another player cold calls, I have pocket kings and 3 bet it. I start getting a really tense feeling in my chest because of the possibility of a huge pot but also because I know that I can lose. I don't know if that makes any sense or not but when I'm in a hand and betting against a big field with top pair or two pair or something like that, I get real tense. I know that someone out there is drawing to a flush or a straight and when they hit it, I'm going to have to pay them off or fold and wonder if they really did have it. The only time I'm relaxed is if i have the nuts or the near nuts or if I have clear folds.

Also, I get depressed and dejected when I lose with a hand like AQ and i get top pair only to be check raised on the river by a flush or whatever hand outdrew me. In fact it just happened where I folded my split pair of aces after the caller check-raised my value bet on the river when a third club fell. I would have been so angry when he showed down that flush that and that feeling is what I hate the most about poker. I dont know if I'm crazy or not or if anyone else knows what I mean. It's just such a heavy and bad feeling in your chest after a beat or making a tough decision when being checkraised on the turn. Sometimes that feeling makes me want to stop playing just so my life can be less stressful.

I think I understand the game pretty well but, I know that when I'm in a big pot or whatever, my emotional attachment clouds my ability to make an objective judgement on the correct play sometimes. Some would say that if that's a problem, the stakes maybe too high, but I do have a healthy bankroll for the limit and playing lower just feels like a waste to me. I really haven't been winning at all since I started playing this level and I know it's my own fault. I'm pretty much hovering around at even and I know I'm not winning because of dumb mistakes I do that will wipe out any trace of a winrate I establish.

I think I'm just expecting too much out of myself and I'm expecting to win boatloads of money whenever I play and I know that's not the case. It's all about the long run and the winrate but, damn, is it tough to keep that in mind after getting drawn out on [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]

Anyway, I'm sure that crap like this has been posted numerous times but I guess it's good for me to vent like this. And if anyone has any words of wisdom, I would appreciate that. I know there's no magic solution.