Would you let your GF sleep in the same bed with another guy?

[pearljam]

[ QUOTE ]
I dont understand all the harshness of these posts after OP did what was exactly right to do.

He decided that he no longer has any long term plans for this girl but rather than just walking away from the kind of girl he has little or no chance of scoring with (he claims she is above his league) - he is simply planning on maintaining the sexual/other benefits fo the relationship.

As for her dumping him eventually - so what? Reminds me of a friend who was in a similar situation and when the girl finally dumped his ass, she made sure to tell him (in front of all his friends) that she never enjoyed the sex they had together. You know what he said? "So what, I got off". Moral of the story is that now that he has a correct grasp of where the relationship is going, he simply needs to maintain the parts of it that he likes and avoid the parts that he doesn't like (even if she will break up with him over it).

Aren't any of you married guys out there looking at this and thinking: "hmmm.... I do all this crap my wife wants me to do cause I care about the relationship and want it to continue - if I didn't care about the relationship, I would never do [insert crappy request from wife]" - well, he no longer has to.

[/ QUOTE ]

exactly, I felt this was a very shallow thing to do but still the correct play for me.

[PITTM]

she is still his "girlfriend", she is still sleeping with other dudes. that=suck, end of story. i dont care if you want ass, i know i certainly wouldnt [censored] my girlfriend if she was sleeping with other dudes on the side. yikes.

rj

[Shajen]

because it is obvious he still has feelings for her. He even said he did. He's headed for heartbreak and we are trying to help.

The majority of us have been there, and it sucks. If we can help someone else avoid it, then cool.

[ QUOTE ]
Aren't any of you married guys out there looking at this and thinking: "hmmm.... I do all this crap my wife wants me to do cause I care about the relationship and want it to continue - if I didn't care about the relationship, I would never do [insert crappy request from wife]" - well, he no longer has to.

[/ QUOTE ]

Uh, imo, being married has nothing at all to do with this.

[Patrick del Poker Grande]

So is the plan now to keep her for a fuckbuddy, but go on with other girls? If so, then you're doing alright if you can actually do this.

[PITTM]

[ QUOTE ]
So is the plan now to keep her for a fuckbuddy, but go on with other girls? If so, then you're doing alright if you can actually do this.

[/ QUOTE ]

if he thought of her exclusively as a [censored] buddy this would be fine, but he obviously doesnt.

rj

[jackdaniels]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Aren't any of you married guys out there looking at this and thinking: "hmmm.... I do all this crap my wife wants me to do cause I care about the relationship and want it to continue - if I didn't care about the relationship, I would never do [insert crappy request from wife]"

[/ QUOTE ]
No. My wife knows her place.



Don't tell her I said that.

[/ QUOTE ]

POTD (and you got the Friday too! Great start for the weekend!)

[HopeydaFish]

[ QUOTE ]

exactly, I felt this was a very shallow thing to do but still the correct play for me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Shallow? *She's* the shallow one...she's the one flaunting the fact that she'll be sharing a bed with another guy for the next two weeks...she doesn't deserve any better from you. You shouldn't feel guilty about f'cking her for the sake of f'cking her.

That being said, and as some other posters have stated, whether or not you can keep you can distance yourself from the feelings you have for this girl is the question. My gut feeling is that you put too much stock in the relationship to suddenly stop caring about her.

When you're lying in bed by yourself this weeknd, and you realize that your ex-gf is probably banging some other guy, that'll be the litmus test as to whether your "plan" will succeed.

[Deftoner]

[ QUOTE ]
Perhaps its just me but the thought of some bitch thinking she is getting one over on me is intolerable.


[/ QUOTE ]

Amen. Grow a [censored] pair OP. Your getting played, know your getting played..yet still want to take it. I don't care how low self-esteem you have (which is apparent by your posts) no one deserves to put up with this [censored], go [censored] her and then tell her its over but if she still wants to fool around your down. Then just leave it at that. Its really that simple.

[jackdaniels]

You guys can obviously see right through his thinly veiled attempt to assert himself and have decided already that he needs saving from heartbreak.

OP - if this is indeed the case and you have feelings for this girl - you are prolly better off changing your number and never talking to her again. If, on the other hand, you think you can "shake" those feelings and maintain a hassle free relationship with this girl (who cares what she calls it? girlfriend or f-buddy, it should be all the same to you - so long as YOU know it for what it is) - you are clearly playing your cards right.

As for the relevance of marriage - the reason I chose this example is that I wanted to exemplify what happens in REAL, COMMITTED relationships - that is where one would take a little and give a little. Here there is no reason to give any at all (since it is only loosely a "relationship") - as soon as it becomes a hassle, OP can cut the cord and forget about her.

[mmbt0ne]

I still think you could bone her if you broke up with her. Especially because she will (99% likely) feel guilty about the break up because it was her fault. Plus, in 6 months, when you look back on this, you won't feel like a puss.