Whats the best way to read women?

[andyfox]

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[David Sklansky]

I don't disagree with your theories in general. I see this situation as an exception.

Dude, seriously, you're over analyzing this.

Ask her out already.

If she's really 26, she's been around the block. Especailly if she's as hot as you say. She's dealt with all the big guys with their big egos and has come of age understanding that she wants a guy who treats her right and has a bright future and is stable, not some jerk who's going to party with the boys and chase other girls.

One word of caution -- take it slow. Don't come on too strong. But ask her out. If she says no for what ever reason, apply the three strike rule. Three nos and you're out. Otherwise, you have nothing to lose. Go for it.

BTW: I'm 44 and used to be kind of in your boat. Things worked out well for me and I'm happily married. I scored with a great woman for the very reasons you have a chance to get something interesting going with this lady.

[Peter666]

WTF

"She might think you are gay."

Then you tell him to do this??:

"tell her you are in Rocks and Rings and invite her out for a night of clubbing with Esfandiari and Chris Ferguson."

Don't you know that is 100% irrefutable proof that one is gay? Don't mislead the young man.

And yeah, don't be intimidated about her beauty. I was considered a nerd in highschool, but still managed to date the most beautiful girl in it for 3 years, all to the dismay of the jocks. Muahahaha nar har

[ QUOTE ]
I don't disagree with your theories in general. I see this situation as an exception.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ok. Why do you see this particular situation as an exception?

My read on you is that your softer side just can't help but to root for the underdog. Disabuse me of this notion by laying out your case.

And again, why won't you or anyone else take my action?

[David Sklansky]

You need to go to confession merely for contributing to this thread.

[David Sklansky]

"If she's really 26, she's been around the block. Especailly if she's as hot as you say. She's dealt with all the big guys with their big egos and has come of age understanding that she wants a guy who treats her right and has a bright future and is stable, not some jerk who's going to party with the boys and chase other girls."

That's my read as well. Meanwhile stop soliciting a bet against him. I will allow no one on this foum to gain if a disaster befalls a fellow two plus twoer.

[SNOWBALL138]

I went to a halloween party last night, and she didn't come. I don't know why she didn't come, but it might have something to do with her not liking me...

or, it could be that she felt obligated to stay home with the invalid, or the fact that she has to work in the morning.

Read your post, and I can feel your anxiety. I used to be where you're at, and I would like to help as best I can. I'm gonna get in yer head.

If what I'm about to say in the next few paragraphs isn't true, then by all means disregard my advice. If it is, maybe you should pay attention. I'm not criticizing, making light, or anything else... simply trying to put myself in your mindset.

My hypothesis into your background: (derived from your posts so far)
You've had two girlfriends, one from high school, one you met in a bar/party that you originally scored a one nighter with, but she wanted more, and you more or less said to yourself "ah, what the hell?". Although you didn't find that relationship intensely satisfying. (Perhaps not exactly, but you see what I'm saying. What is important here is that I'm trying to establish your past experiences with women)

(Now we're getting into the stuff I know you're feeling)
You've had a couple of one-night stands before, but after each one, you were left thinking "How did I do that? How can I do it again?", but never could come up with a real answer, thus leaving you more confused than before.

You're uncomfortable around women, feeling like attracting the opposite sex is a challenge. If I can just say the right things and do the right things, I can get the girl, you say to yourself.

How'm I doing so far?

So far, with this girl, you've probably been doing something inadvertantly right, because it seems like she's very into you. A girl that laughs at all your jokes (even the unfunny ones) and looks for excuses to initiate contact with you thinks you're a good find.

I'm afraid she's not the problem, my friend. You are the problem.

You don't seem to think that you are worthy of being with this girl.






Look at how you're presenting it to us:

"I asked her to a halloween party, and she told me she had some friends in town and was doing something else, but that I should give her the address and she might stop by...

This is hard for me to evaluate because her excuse might be true."

Her "excuse"? Is it *that* hard to believe that a gal might already had plans on the biggest social weekend of the month? Or would you rather just believe that she enjoys screwing you around?

As for "might stop by"... put yourself in her shoes. When was the last time you said to someone "I'm busy, but I might stop by"? Did you go? Probably not. That's just something people say to be polite when they're already booked. In general, people are uncomfortable telling someone "No" flat out. So don't be upset that she didn't show to the party, she never said she was coming.



"" She is 26 and I am 21.
This is pretty unfavorable just by itself. Most women I know like older guys. ""

This is true, but as shown by all the positive evidence, she is obviously not "most women", so you can disregard this. But note how you're still looking for reasons why she's not into you.



""She's so much hotter than I am its ridiculous.""
You're flat-out telling me that's she's out of your league. And she is. Your thinking is putting her in another league.



The bad news is, in the current state of affairs, your odds of landing this particular girl are not very good. She's given you loads of opportunities, and you've let most fly by.

The good news is, it can still happen. And more importantly, you can still learn that it doesn't really matter if you do or not. But like when you were first teaching yourself not to tilt, keep a level head, etc. You've got to do that here. But it will take a major shift in your thought process. You're going to have to give your sense of self-image a severe kick in the ass.

Repeat after me.

I am da MAN. No, I am not a chiseled, washboard-abbed, square-jawed, vision of perfection, and she *still* thinks I'm the greatest thing since sliced bread. There's no better proof that I've got a lot going for me. That's what makes me da MAN. Da MAN deserves nothing less than a woman that's going to treat him like a million freakin' dollars. I am da MAN. I do what I want. I say what I want. I make no apologies. If she doesn't like that, then SHE has just missed out on a wonderful opportunity. An opportunity to be with a guy with as much going for him as I do. An opportunity to be with da MAN.

List to yourself what you see as your top 10 qualities. (Don't stop 'til you have 10, man)
Know what those are? Those are the reasons she likes you. Now stop sitting in the glow of your laptop, thinking of reasons why she doesn't. Get out there and be exactly who you want to be. Don't apologise for it. Don't feel guilty about it.

Don't be afraid of what she'll think. She likes you when you act naturally. She can tell when you're not, she's not dumb. She's not a puzzle to be figured out, she's not a challenge. Take her off the pedestal; treat her like a human being, a flawed, imperfect, human being, just like you. Treat yourself with some self respect, like a man that deserves nothing less than what you want.

Only then will you be able to build a relationship (with her, or one of the thousands of girls surrounding you) the way you want it to be.





Thoughts?

[ QUOTE ]
Meanwhile stop soliciting a bet against him. I will allow no one on this foum to gain if a disaster befalls a fellow two plus twoer.

[/ QUOTE ]

Oh, for crying out loud. This is the whole problem with the way this situation is being discussed. If a girl you have a crush on rejects your date offer, it's not a disaster. It's just part of life. It happens to all of us. Enough with the hyperbole.

I only sought a bet because I suspected that most people didn't believe as strongly in this cause as they were pretending. My failure to get even a single taker confirms this suspicion.

To be honest, I was just poking the hornets nest a bit with some of my posts, but I've become genuinely irritated at the mollycoddling nature of this particular thread. Our hero posted some information and asked for people's opinions. Well, he got them. Sorry you don't like mine or the amount of confidence I bring to my assessment.

What I'm seeing here is a lot of cheerleading, not an honest appraisal of the facts posted by our hero. You wouldn't tell someone who posted a hand history that he played a hand well if you didn't think he did, and you wouldn't sugarcoat your opinion to build his confidence either.

Maybe you actually believe in this guy's chances, but if you're simply trying to be supportive, then I would argue that you're doing our hero no favors. The goal is to improve your game, not feel better about yourself. Losing one hand in poker is no disaster. There's another one coming, just like there's always another girl to ask out. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

This whole "Nice Guy" pathology is the height of male hypocrisy. Oh, boo-hoo. Why won't the hottest girl on campus see past superficialities and see how much I have to offer? Mmmmhmmmm. How many men walk past the knockout in the low cut dress and make a line for the frumpy girl in the corner because you see the beauty inside? Raise your hands, y'all. Raise 'em up high!

I take no pleasure in someone getting shot down, but I'm certainly not going to hug a guy who tried to play out of his league and failed while he weeps bitter, hot tears of anger and humiliation. Hot girls are hard to get. No harm in trying, but don't be surprised or outraged if you fail.

But I'll go ahead and stop propositioning wagers since it is upsetting the delicate nature of this group therapy session. Thanks for letting me know that the privilege of wagering belongs only to you.