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#1
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My dad one year all of a sudden proclaims himself to be this HUGE Rolling Stones fan. This after years of car trips with he and my mom where it was either Neil Diamond's Greatest Hits or Springsteen's "Born in the USA."
Anyway, as part of his Christmas gift, I get him a T-shirt with the famous Stones lips and tongue logo. Mr. Stones Fan looks up at me and says, "What the hell is this?" |
#2
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I'm not sure if this is the dumbest or the smartest, but it was uttered by NBA player Elden Campbell at a news conference after he was drafted.
reporter: Elden, did you earn a degree from Clemson? Elded: No, but they gave me one anyway. |
#3
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senior year of highschool, i heard one of the dumbest exchanges that is still a favorite story of mine to tell when this topic comes up.
the class was some current issues filler class that everyone tried to take because the teacher was pretty easy going. he was a good guy and he seemed fairly intelligent regarding cultural issues but... he had no concept of what the number "billion" really meant. he was thoroughly convinced that one billion = a million million, instead of a mere thousand million. one day he is speaking about how ludicrously wealthy bill gates is, and decides to put it into context for the class. Mr. J: "bill gates is so rich, he is worth 80 billion dollars. this means he could give every single living american 1 million dollars, and still have 76 billion left for himself." class idiots: "woah, well why doesn't he do that then?!" mr j: "because then....a loaf of bread would cost.... one hundred thousand dollars." class: "woah" blah blah dumb girl: "i aint paying that much for no bread! |
#4
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I'm ashamed to say this is about my own mother [img]/images/graemlins/blush.gif[/img]
I was due to pick her up from the airport on the way back from the US (I'm in the UK), and she phoned me from the airport. It was 11am my time. "You know we're in at 12?" "Yes, mum." "What time is it there?" "11 in the morning, mum" "You better leave now then." "Wha...wha...it's in 13 hours!?!" "No, you forgot the time difference!" I must have been found under a bush or something. |
#5
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[ QUOTE ]
he had no concept of what the number "billion" really meant. he was thoroughly convinced that one billion = a million million, instead of a mere thousand million. [/ QUOTE ] Some places on this planet, he would be right about that billion. Not in the USA, 'tho. (Just where he would be right is left as an exercise for the reader.) |
#6
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Yah, billion is or was 1,000,000,000,000 - might not be now for financial transactions/reasons.
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#7
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In high school once, I over heard two people discussing a picture of the space shuttle Challenger crew. You know, the standard photo where they're all standing in their flight uniforms.
"I wonder if this picture was taken before or after the explosion." "You stupid idiot! If they took the picture AFTER, there'd be arms and legs and eyeballs all over the place!" |
#8
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Trying to figure out who we want to pick as our "Most important person of the century" in high school history.
Girl wants to pick the Beatles because they made good music. Someone else suggests Ghandi. Girl replies with: "Ghandi? Who the hell is Ghandi?" |
#9
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Someone once asked me if I spoke "Asian."....
I had a person once ask me if my eyesight was tapered on the edges...you know since I am Asian and have small "slanted" eyes....at first I thought it was a ignorant racist joke...but after a minute of berating him I found out that he was serious. [img]/images/graemlins/tongue.gif[/img] |
#10
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From me: In college, they had just come out with "The Clapper". We were watching a commercial about it, and one of my friends asked "I wonder what happens if you have the Clapper attached to your TV when this commercial comes on? Does it turn off?" Other friend: "Oh, I bet they make the clapping sound an even number of times during the commercial so the TV ends up back on"
From my wife: A friend of hers in high school was convinced that "trees made the wind" and that's why you always see the trees blowing when it's windy - they're making the wind. |
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