My poker (loser) experience

[howzit]

Sounds like you're a gambler and need the action. Walking away for a while should be help BUT you'll probably find yourself back at the tables before you're committed to playing your top game again.


Try hanging out w/your friends, go eat nice meals, go watch movies, concerts, and blow the money elsewhere before getting more stuck playing poker and god forbid limit poker.


a ton of top players go bust from running bad and playing worse or maybe some other vice and if you've only been playing for a year, then that's not suprising at all.

I'm no different and was broke the first year i was playing. But what turned me around was realizing the money I burnt through was long gone and it was time to just start treating my precious little nut that i did have as the beginning of a new bankroll and not the remenants of something that i once had.

I guess the analogy would be something like raising a kid only to have the kid pass away. Then a having a second kid to raise after that. You would raise the second kid as something totally new and you would nurture and bring it up up as well as you could. Hopefully not in the shadow of a kid you've lost in the past because of whatever reason.

And in the end, it's just money. seriously.

[XChamp]

If you don't believe in God, then why does any of this upset you? What rules are you trying to live your life by, and why?

I think you need to answer these questions before you can create any sort of plan for your personal life and career.

I would quit poker right now and take a long break and sort this stuff out. I lost half my bankroll (6k, I was a NL$100 player) a year ago. It was bad. I took some time off and made it all back and a lot more.

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whats god or your parents got to do with playing poker, your not insulting any form of god playing poker, you are if the money is going towards a bad cause?


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Playing poker is a form a gambling and gambling is taboo is most traditional families. And when I speak of any religious hindu family it just magnifies a whole lot. There is that inner self that wants you to tell your parents about it. But you dont know how they would react. I have gone through some personal [censored] over the last 4 years and this poker thing is small compared to the numerous incidents and [censored] ups in my personal life. That being said, money is money and you hate to lose what you earned through effort,dedication and discipline. My mom wants me to keep faith in good and it really gets frustrating when she is lecturing you whenever she gets a chance. I agree with one of the posters that I am probably trying to vent my frustrations by playing poker.

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If you don't believe in God, then why does any of this upset you? What rules are you trying to live your life by, and why?


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Its not about me. Its about my parents. For the reasons I stated above. I can see why my parents would be upset about this. I dont want to quit playing poker. It is a catch 22 situation and yes, I do understand I do need to take a break and concentrate on my job(I am not jobless).

[mythrilfox]

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Playing poker is a form a gambling and gambling is taboo is most traditional families. And when I speak of any religious hindu family it just magnifies a whole lot.

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I just want to point out something here, though it's a bit of a tangent. Traditionally all of society's codes of moral conduct have come from something simply being harmful to an individual or to society as a whole. We don't kill not because killing is inherently wrong, but because society would collapse. Same with stealing. Same with lying. This is where most religious codes of conduct are derived from as well. I assume the taboo against gambling is predicated on the assumption that gambling is -EV, which it has been for years and years. In the case of poker and a disciplined player, it is clearly not. I see no reason to continue to adhere to a taboo if it is now meaningless. This is all a very complicated way of saying "poker is not gambling."

If your parents are at all reasonable and you prove to them that you are a winning player, they will understand this. If they don't, [censored] them. You're 28, man up and start living your own life. If they don't want to support you morally doing something that you know is best then they are [censored] parents, and you need to begin to deal with this fact.

[4thstreetpete]

Hey devdas I think I can somewhat sympathise with your situation. In my family gambling is pretty much frowned about but for a totally different reason. I have several extended family members with very huge gambling problems that pretty much devasted their lives.

One was very wealthy and ended up losing all his possesions including homes, cars, his boat etc. He also lost his supermodel wife after he lost everything (big surprise there). I have another uncle who amassed a huge debt and has basically pissed off everyone he knows and now has exhausted all resources. Everyone keeps giving him money but now everyone is fed up because he keeps going back and each time he is more in debt. He also refuses to get help.

There's also been instances of suicide, drug abuse and domestic violence so I've seen my fair share of the other side of gambling addiction and it's ugly. My family's view towards gambling is naturally skewed so I see no point in talking to my family about my poker habits as they will never even try to understand. I have no need or desire to otherwise. I'm responsible for myself and I feel I have an excellent sense of money managemant and in control of my finances. I didn't always have this though and learned some hard lessons along the way but now I feel I have everything in total control and couldn't be happier.

I think the cultural differences makes it very difficult for others to understand. It's hard to judge a man until you walk a mile in his shoes, and it's so true.

I know you want to make your parents happy but if religion is not your thing then just make it very clear to them and try not to discuss it with them in the future. Actually this is a quality I admire in you quite a lot. I think it takes a lot to stand up for yourself when it comes to religion when your parents are raised one way. It's not easy but if your parents made you become someone that you weren't happy with then you might resent them later in life. Just make your position clear and let your parents know that. Try not to fight with them over this issue in the future, if they bring it up just ignore it and after a while hopefully they will leave you alone. You'll have to make it clear though.

As I see it your poker habits is a much bigger problem. You're not unique in building a huge bankroll and then losing it all, I'm sure many very good 2+2'ers have been in this situation, heck many of the top pro's in the industry have gone bust many times over. Either you get your act together or go get some help. You'll definately need to sit down and reevaluate yourself.

Once you get your act together, these feelings of guilt will be a lot easier to deal with. Sometimes a lot of these pressures that we face are pressures that we put on ourselves. You honor your family and want them to be happy with you, but we see ourselves as total failures because we don't live up to their expectations. After a while you'll see that a lot of the conflicts within us are self induced.

A competentent psychologist would say you need to "resolve your cognitive dissonance."

It is the academic way of saying what most replyers are saying: you know what's going on. Deal with it or get out.

[jb9]

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I should have exhibited better judgement and stopped playing when I knew I was not playing my A-game.

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This sounds much much worse than just "not playing your A-game".

I think you should give serious thought to not playing poker until you have a greater understanding of what happened to you and some confidence that you won't do it again. Even then, you should adopt a strict and conservative bankroll management plan. If you can't do that, you will do yourself a big favor by not playing at all.

It's hard to give advice about family and religion, especially to strangers. There is rarely a good answer. But, it sounds like you need to talk to them about a few things. Try to find a way to do it that doesn't lead to a fight. Maybe get advice from someone else in the family (or friend of the family) who can see both your and your parents' point of view.

Good luck.

P.S. A book you may find interesting that I just re-read. It's about family and gambling. Double Down: Reflections on Gambling and Loss

[greg nice]

who gives a shiit about your parents. you are 28 years old. fuuck your parents. fuuck your religion. get a grip. "woe is me" is getting old and you know it.

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who gives a shiit about your parents. you are 28 years old. fuuck your parents. fuuck your religion. get a grip. "woe is me" is getting old and you know it.

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Probably true. This might be my only option. Not saying it has to be my way or no way. But, I see your point.

[hit_the_set]

relax. Take a good break and analyse your options.