How Important is a Woman's Weight

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I trust her 100% not to cheat on me. She never would in a million years based on how our relationship is now. Everything she has done is based in love and she always makes sure that i am okay. if she wanted to do this guy, she would simply tell me and we would discuss. No secrecy. To be honest - i would tell her that if it made her happy to enjoy herself.

[/ QUOTE ]

Open relationships are one thing. You wanting to hang out and her taking time she could spend with you to talk to another man when you say it "bugs" you - means you aren't ready for this.

YSSCKY.

[Utah]

You are taking my comment the wrong way. It also bugs me I want to hang out with her and she is talking to her sister. But, I can guarantee you that I would completely and totally encourage her to bang her sister [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[ QUOTE ]
You are taking my comment the wrong way. It also bugs me I want to hang out with her and she is talking to her sister. But, I can guarantee you that I would completely and totally encourage her to bang her sister [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

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Well, don't take this the wrong way then. It bugs you when she hangs out with/talks to her sister, and the same with this guy. I also find it a little weird that you would find it sexually attractive for your wife to commit incest with her sister.

Maybe the real thing that bugs you is the fact that she'd rather hang out/talk to just about anyone but you? I understand you aren't in here bitching about your relationship, I understand completely what you are saying.

But, by the same token, something is definitely bothering you. What I would do is take a little weekend holiday with your wife, away from the family, away from the computer, and definitely away from the god-forsaken Internet.

But, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.

(Also, she's your wife, her weight shouldn't matter unless she's put on a considerable amount of it since your marriage. Thus, it DEFINITELY shouldn't be important to anyone else.)

[Utah]

lol. We actually hang out constantly. I have a busy consulting job but she is constantly wanting to come to my work and take me to lunch or to coffee and I am constantly wanting her to do so.

The real pathetic thing is that we are so crazily in love that we almost always want to be together. Being at work, I am constantly hanging out with different people from around the world and I get my fill of external conversation with men and women. She doesnt have the opportunity.

There is a part of her talking to guys that makes me find her even hotter. I would much rather be with a woman who views herself as attractive, others find her attractive, and she wants to be out in world. To me, that is a 1000 times hotter than a frumpy housewife.

[Marnixvdb]

There are exceptions obv, but overweight girls usually dont look good, even when a little extra weight doesnt matter at all. They especially don't look good if they wear too-tight clothes, as seems to be their custom.

overweight women can look very sexy, feminine and mature, they intimidate me though since i am still hooking up with girls and not women.

As for your situation, i see your point. A relation where none would ever feel attracted to a person outside of that relation is unhealthy. Still, reading all your comments, I get an image of your relation that is somewhere between utopic and spooky. It's ok that you are so open, but doenst telling/showing/sharing everything take away the mystery and surprise?

Im also curious how you changed your relation from fast-track-to-divorce to happy-every-single-minute

Marnix

[Utah]

We changed almost immediately but it strengthened every month since.

At the point of divorce we were incredibly bitter. To be honest, I was a jackass. I worked my ass off at work so I thought it meant she had to take care of the house and me when I was home. Our typical day's conversation {scene - me sitting on the couch watching sports wife washing dishes behind me}

"Quiet, with the dishes I am watching TV"
"You need to help. the house is a mess...."
"I just worked 10 hours. Can you not nag me every f'ing 5 minutes"
"ahole"
"Bitch"

We had not slept in the same bed for a year and we had awful sex once a month. It was like "need to get off" sex with no kissing

It changed very oddly. One day, I wanted her to do a sexual favor for me. Her response word for word, "fxxx you. You want that then you buy me an expensive ring". So I did. I took her ring shopping and bought her a $3000 ring. Funny thing happened at the jewelry store - she was SO excited and bouncing around like this little girl. She has a smile on her face that I hadnt seen since we first went out. She kept grabbing my hand to hold." Instantly, she went from this dumpy wife to this mega hot chic. I loved it. So, that night I had this weird compulsion. I asked her to let me serve her - get her drinks and food on demand, massages, cleaning on demand" Oddly, it felt really natural.

Okay, here is the sappy "no balls" part. I asked her to be in charge and she agreed. She agreed to never nag and I agreed to do whatever she said, never to argue with her, and to treat her like a queen. We simply went from there are both of us have been estatically happy since. There were times at the start where she snapped at me or was in a bad mood. However, I just took it and never once retaliated and it never became an escalation like the past. Pretty soon, she stopped snapping and she never abused her power once.

The sex did not turn around quickly and it took many months. Again, I never complained and still treated her like a queen. Everything was at her pace. Her appetite grew slowly but it is now at a point where she is also crazed daily and she is very sexual. This was a woman I would have told you at one point is the lamest most non sexual girl on the planet. Funny how making a woman feel special and attactive and how always putting here in a good mood with increase her drive. lol.

So, the turnaround was almost instantanious from the point of fighting and bitterness. The love and sex grew over 6 months.

[bones]

[ QUOTE ]
We changed almost immediately but it strengthened every month since.

At the point of divorce we were incredibly bitter. To be honest, I was a jackass. I worked my ass off at work so I thought it meant she had to take care of the house and me when I was home. Our typical day's conversation {scene - me sitting on the couch watching sports wife washing dishes behind me}

"Quiet, with the dishes I am watching TV"
"You need to help. the house is a mess...."
"I just worked 10 hours. Can you not nag me every f'ing 5 minutes"
"ahole"
"Bitch"

We had not slept in the same bed for a year and we had awful sex once a month. It was like "need to get off" sex with no kissing

It changed very oddly. One day, I wanted her to do a sexual favor for me. Her response word for word, "fxxx you. You want that then you buy me an expensive ring". So I did. I took her ring shopping and bought her a $3000 ring. Funny thing happened at the jewelry store - she was SO excited and bouncing around like this little girl. She has a smile on her face that I hadnt seen since we first went out. She kept grabbing my hand to hold." Instantly, she went from this dumpy wife to this mega hot chic. I loved it. So, that night I had this weird compulsion. I asked her to let me serve her - get her drinks and food on demand, massages, cleaning on demand" Oddly, it felt really natural.

Okay, here is the sappy "no balls" part. I asked her to be in charge and she agreed. She agreed to never nag and I agreed to do whatever she said, never to argue with her, and to treat her like a queen. We simply went from there are both of us have been estatically happy since. There were times at the start where she snapped at me or was in a bad mood. However, I just took it and never once retaliated and it never became an escalation like the past. Pretty soon, she stopped snapping and she never abused her power once.

The sex did not turn around quickly and it took many months. Again, I never complained and still treated her like a queen. Everything was at her pace. Her appetite grew slowly but it is now at a point where she is also crazed daily and she is very sexual. This was a woman I would have told you at one point is the lamest most non sexual girl on the planet. Funny how making a woman feel special and attactive and how always putting here in a good mood with increase her drive. lol.

So, the turnaround was almost instantanious from the point of fighting and bitterness. The love and sex grew over 6 months.

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Does she make you pee sitting down?





Just kidding. Hope this continues to work.

[asofel]

If you're happy Utah, then that's great. The issue many guys here have is that they wouldn't be happy with the seemingly agreed upon inequality.

If you're both on the same level and both treat each other amazingly, that's awesome in my eyes. But I wouldn't want to be in a situation where I give someone everything, and they give back any less. That's how I am, and how many are...

I'm skeptical about the "would be happy if she was happy" kind of situation when it comes to another guy physically. I have no problem with someone I love thinking brad pitt is hot, or being turned on by muscles or whatever. I would definitely have a problem with the act though...

Anyway, good luck, I hope you're 100% happy through and through and not covering up or hiding something deep inside. If you're being honest and you really are truly happy then that's amazing and congratulations.

[PokerFink]

Utah,

I think this is much more simple than we all realized.

You're whipped.

-Fink

My husband and I have got a relationship much like you described, Utah, and we couldn't be happier. We were childhood sweethearts and can't stand the thought of being without the other. So much of it boils down to respect and communication. Our kids are secure and happy even as most of their buddies have parents that are divorced.

But respect and happiness for us does not mean that we can do anything we want. My husband would meet with the ugly end of a shovel if he were trying to pick up girls online. And if I were trying to get with some guy and he gave me his blessings, I would loose every ounce of respect and wonder where his penis had crawled off to. Having a great marriage does not mean it has to be an open swingers club in order to show "respect" but different strokes, I guess.