girls are annoying

[kyro]

I always feel so sorry for you people that get yourself into these types of relationships. Why do you feel the need to still be with this person? If I'm you, I need to be incredibly desperate and lonely to continue seeing her.

[jba]

I haven't read any responses but if the answer to any question of the form:

- ask her ________

is no, I'd just end it.

[Pyromaniac]

um, ok, some thoughts. Just to confirm for you the "creep photographer" angle: professional photogs who do nude shoots pay the models and move on. If it's a calendar, there's 11 more girls to shoot. And then there's the next project after that. It's about making money, not getting girls naked. They don't take them out to dinner, watch movies, hang out together.

InchoateHand says:

[ QUOTE ]
Yeah, thats why I get involved with women

[/ QUOTE ]

Harsh...but true here. She's young. *You're* young. Eight months, particularly long distance, is *nothing*.

Jdanz and MyTurn2Raise make good points too, though way on the other side of things.

Here's your set of choices, I think.

You can say, Hey, posing nude is cool, having friends is cool...but being in a long-distance relationship with me and doing boyfriend-girlfriend things (see above under "unprofessional photog behavior") with local guys is not cool. And either y'all figure it out, or you don't. And then you break up. And either she sleeps with him or she doesn't.

Or, you decide that you *must* stay with her, no matter what, and you put up with the fact that she's a girl, not a woman. In other words, that she's got her own oats to sow...maybe she *is* attracted to this guy and just doesn't want to admit it or realize it. In that case, you get whatever you get. (Heartache, probably, but I digress.)

A real longterm relationship is built on mutual agreement, decisionmaking, and understanding. You can't control whether she poses nude for other guys, goes to dinner with other guys, watches movies with other guys, or f***s other guys...but you *can* decide whether or not she does these things while in a relationship with you. But to do that, you have to be willing to walk away from terms that aren't acceptable to you.

Pyro

(sidenote: keep in mind, every relationship is different...for some people, all of the above would be acceptable.)

[MrTrik]

You are a doormat. I would have dumped her instead of posting here in OOT.

She got naked for the guy. He's treating her like a gf. She thinks that's ok.

Face it man, she either already rode him like a bucking bronco, or she will soon.

I'd be gone already. No need to talk feelings. No need for ultimatums.

She made her choices you need to make yours.

[Dominic]

[ QUOTE ]
ill make this quick. together 4 months. break up for 2 weeks. during those 2 weeks she poses naked for a calender (right...) however it never gets published. now we've been together for 4 more months. Thing is, she is friends with this guy who took pictures of her. naked. he takes her out to dinner and buys. they watch movies together. can i, with justification, do any of the following:
1. ask her if they ever had feelings for each other
2. ask her if they ever hooked up/were in a relationship
3. ask her if he is a complete dork and i have nothing to worry about
4. call her a whore (please say yes)

WHat would you do? How can I explain to her how much this bothers me? Would it bother you?
BTW I am in Tacoma finishing up school and she graduated. We have plans to live together next year when i go to dental school.

Kyle

[/ QUOTE ]

Jesus Christ, when did the american male become such a pussy?

Break up with her NOW. There is NO REASON for her to be friends with that guy, AT ALL. No reason for him to buy her meals or go to the movies together UNLESS THEY ARE/WERE/WILL BE FUKING. Period.

Grow a set and tell her the score.

God, I'm embarrassed for all mankind.

[Reef]

wow, she is putting some serious pwnage on you. You're getting played like a fiddle

[TimM]

I need more info here. Please send along the naked pictures of the 11 other girls in the calendar and I will get back to you. Thanks.

[astroglide]

if she acknowledges that he wants to bang her, she should realize that he's not a 'friend'.

if she doesn't acknowledge that he wants to bang her, she could be dumber than a bag of hammers.

this isn't macho insecurity, it's common sense. it's not even a double-standard - a guy would be completely guilty in this situation as well.

[cdxx]

if anything happened between him and her during those two weeks, you need to dump her. it will not end well.

so, 8 months dating and you are already thinking you'll live together? is that a little quick? (maybe i am commitment-impaired)

[SomethingClever]

[ QUOTE ]
I am in Tacoma finishing up school

[/ QUOTE ]

PLU or UPS?