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#1
10-23-2005, 06:43 PM
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Re: Courts make it too easy to separate good dads from their kids!
"And despite Radified's objections, I do see some wisdom in issuing TROs before a vigorous fact-checking process can take place."
Then you've never had a restraining order put on you. When my grandfather was about to die my Aunt got a restraining order put on us. My grandfather was losing it by that point, his wife had just died, and she wanted to get her hands on the money. Once she did she left my grandfather to die alone, none of us were allowed to see him. She didn't even pay for the funeral, my other Aunt did. At the funeral she left halfway through to meet a lawyer so she could sign some papers and get a check. In the middle of his freaking funeral. Could the court have avoided this, sure. Christ, the information was there and easy to get. My parents took care of my grandparents when they got ill. When my grandmother had cancer she came to live with us for a year. We took care of her until the day she died. My mother was always the responsible daughter. Her sister was always a total wacko though. She dropped out of 6 colleges, was constantly in mental counciling, dated these total wierdos. If the court had bothered to obtain testimony from anyone in the family or looked up any records they would have put out a restraining order on her, not our family. I never got to say goodbye to my grandfather, and he died alone and afraid. Something has to change. 
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#2
10-23-2005, 06:53 PM
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Re: Courts make it too easy to separate good dads from their kids!
[ QUOTE ]
"And despite Radified's objections, I do see some wisdom in issuing TROs before a vigorous fact-checking process can take place." Then you've never had a restraining order put on you. When my grandfather was about to die my Aunt got a restraining order put on us. My grandfather was losing it by that point, his wife had just died, and she wanted to get her hands on the money. Once she did she left my grandfather to die alone, none of us were allowed to see him. She didn't even pay for the funeral, my other Aunt did. At the funeral she left halfway through to meet a lawyer so she could sign some papers and get a check. In the middle of his freaking funeral. Could the court have avoided this, sure. Christ, the information was there and easy to get. My parents took care of my grandparents when they got ill. When my grandmother had cancer she came to live with us for a year. We took care of her until the day she died. My mother was always the responsible daughter. Her sister was always a total wacko though. She dropped out of 6 colleges, was constantly in mental counciling, dated these total wierdos. If the court had bothered to obtain testimony from anyone in the family or looked up any records they would have put out a restraining order on her, not our family. I never got to say goodbye to my grandfather, and he died alone and afraid. Something has to change. [/ QUOTE ] No, I've never had a restraining order put on me. And while your family situation sounds unfair, I certainly think the state has an interest in protecting people from possible attackers first, and fact-checking next, as the time it takes to investigate various situations can be lengthy, and TROs could give some level of protection against potential attackers. I grant that the system isn't perfect, but I don't see an alternative to TROs. I'd hate to think an abused partner (in a life-threatening situation) might have to wait a substantial amount of time before receiving what could be a life-saving restraining order.
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#3
10-23-2005, 07:01 PM
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Re: Courts make it too easy to separate good dads from their kids!
[ QUOTE ]
No, I've never had a restraining order put on me. And while your family situation sounds unfair, I certainly think the state has an interest in protecting people from possible attackers first, and fact-checking next, as the time it takes to investigate various situations can be lengthy, and TROs could give some level of protection against potential attackers. I grant that the system isn't perfect, but I don't see an alternative to TROs. I'd hate to think an abused partner (in a life-threatening situation) might have to wait a substantial amount of time before receiving what could be a life-saving restraining order. [/ QUOTE ] I don't think he's arguing that extensive fact finding must take place before issuing the TRO. His point is that he never had a chance to easily disprove key points in the petition for a TRO the day it was issued. ~ Rick
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#4
10-23-2005, 07:23 PM
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Re: Courts make it too easy to separate good dads from their kids!
[ QUOTE ]
His point is that he never had a chance to easily disprove key points in the petition for a TRO the day it was issued. [/ QUOTE ] Is there a way to easily disprove charges of abuse? Isn't that the "two sides of the story" phenomenon I mentioned earlier? However, I agree that there seems something counter-intuitive about having the accuser call the accused and inform them about the hearing; yet Radified never explains why he didn't immediately contact a lawyer, and why that lawyer didn't alert him of his options. It seems as if his lawyer eventually alerted him to the fact that he could present his case at the hearing, but that this alert came too late. In that way, I suppose Radified's advice is a sound: if you get accused of any kind of serious crime, go find a good lawyer ASAP. Sounds like he found one too late.
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#5
10-23-2005, 07:06 PM
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Re: Courts make it too easy to separate good dads from their kids!
What about my grandfather. When we first lost contact with him he was still in good health (physically). We have it on good authority that he may have been denied certain treatments that could have prolonged his life, maybe even cured him. That's a life threatening situation. And yet the court kept away the people that could have helped him and placed him in the care of someone that wanted him dead for thier own personal gain. The slightest bit of effort and investigation could have avoided the situation. The problems the guy lists in his journal are just some, but they go on.
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#6
10-23-2005, 07:13 PM
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Re: Courts make it too easy to separate good dads from their kids!
[ QUOTE ]
What about my grandfather. When we first lost contact with him he was still in good health (physically). We have it on good authority that he may have been denied certain treatments that could have prolonged his life, maybe even cured him. That's a life threatening situation. And yet the court kept away the people that could have helped him and placed him in the care of someone that wanted him dead for thier own personal gain. The slightest bit of effort and investigation could have avoided the situation. The problems the guy lists in his journal are just some, but they go on. [/ QUOTE ] I understand - we can probably point to thousands of instances where the justice system fails; However, in regards to TROs, I'm not sure that there's a remedy to the problem, in a way that doesn't weaken the TRO's legitimate uses. Seems as if the current system is the lesser of two evils.
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#7
10-24-2005, 12:56 AM
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Re: Courts make it too easy to separate good dads from their kids!
I don't think it's much to ask to at least have both sides testify before the judge before issuing one. There are a million other reforms, but that seems like such a basic thing that I can't believe it isn't done.
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#8
10-23-2005, 07:08 PM
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Re: Courts make it too easy to separate good dads from their kids!
[ QUOTE ]
I never got to say goodbye to my grandfather, and he died alone and afraid. Something has to change. [/ QUOTE ] Geez, man, that's a sad story. Same for the OP. I think I'm gonna start wearing my "have you bitchslapped a feminist today?" button again.
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