Busting a loudmouth: Does it get any better than this?

[droolie]

I was playing limit HE on party last night and ran into one of the most remarkable assholes I've ever encountered on the internet. The guy was an utter maniac who seemed to think that needling his opponents was the right thing to do.

Every time he won a pot he would say something nasty. "Thanks you fish," and "You are terrible," or some derivative of those thoughts seemed to be his favorite lines. He would say this crap even after he made the most ridiculously terrible suckout. Players would call him on his bad play and he would continue mindlessly calling them fish. Whenever he won and didn't see the other players hole cards he would state that they had made a bad bluff and he had caught them. Whenever he would win a pot on a bluff he would show his hand and say "nice fold you fish"

This was limit poker but at one point he was HU against a player who was almost all-in on the river, one more bet and he would have been all-in, the a-hole was saying how he hated to bust the guy but that he hoped he would rebuy after the hand. He was so busy typing that he actually took too much time so that he clocked out and his hand was folded before he could bet (it was HU and he was first to act) It was truly hysterical.

Whenever he lost a hand he would get very insulting. I was playing under a female account and he kept calling me a whore and telling me to suck his cock etc.

Now I hardly ever respond to this kind of stuff but this guy was off the charts. When this all started I was about to go to bed because it was late and I realized I was probably a little tiltly from some pisspoor play on other tables earlier in the evening (I hadn't played in 10 days and was not on my game). I said nh to him after he 3 outed me on the river for the second time only to be called fish and whore in return.

After the second suckout I guess I lost it. On most other nights I would have found him mildly amusing but at this point I wasn't in the mood to let it go. I closed all my other tables and made it my mission to bust this guy.

He was a maniac but not the worst I've seen. He could fold in the face of aggression from time to time and probably had 50/40/5 type numbers. He had about 40BB left at the table when I told him to enjoy the money he had just won from me but that it was just a loan that I would be getting back with interest. He told me he was going to put his cock in my ass. I told him he'd have to take it out of his mothers first. I also told him that not only would I beat him tonight but that he had made my buddy list and I would be following him around whenever he played from now on. He responded by challenging me to 15/30 HU. It never happened.

The rest of the table was all riled up at this point too as his insults weren't only aimed at me. The table became somewhat of a feeding frenzy. It really seemed like it was 9 against 1 for about an hour. The table tightened up dramatically and everyone took turns trying to isolate the a-hole. Even the a-hole tightened up pf but was still a maniac in every pot he entered. He would get down under 20BB and then go on a tear and get back up to 40BB again. It was really some of the funniest poker I've ever seen.

The night ended with me taking his last 25BB on three successive hands.

The first was when I flopped a str8 from the BB and he hit a set. After that hand I knew he was on tilt. He was going nuts in the chatbox.

The next hand I isolated him with pocket two's and let every street get capped UI. I was practically holding my breath when he finally called the river cap. He didn't show when the pot when the pot was pushed to me so I have no idea what he had but I assume it was A high. More profanity in the chatbox.

The last hand I had AQ and isolated him again. This time the flop hit my Q. I had just shown down 22 UI and was thinking that if he played back at me again he'd have to have something reasonably strong now especially since he only had about 8BB left. I got him all-in. After the carnage was played out it turns out I had outkicked him. LOL! Thanks you fish! Before I put in the last raise I told him to please rebuy after I won the hand. I wasn't done screwing him yet. He didn't. He quietly left. Pwned!

It was sad seeing him go but I don't think I've ever felt quite so happy with myself at a poker table as I did at that moment.

Anybody with a simlar story or comments on mine are welcome.