Dumbest thing you've ever heard?

[ddubois]

Your way is nonsense and incorrect English. Do you think it would be in Niles' character to use an insult that is nonsense and incorrect English?

Two frosh having a smoke outside the residence known as Perth Hall, discussing the origins of the building's name.

"So, what's a Perth?"
"I think it's some kind of fish."

[Brainwalter]

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"is this merlot?"

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"frasier, you're so corpulent that when you sit around magnificently and point to tuscan villa, you sit AROUND magnificently and point to tuscan villa"

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Can't even get this right, eh?

Magnificently appointed Tuscan villa.

Variation on the "when you sit around the house, you sit AROUND the house" joke.

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is it seriously "appointed" instead of "point to"?

there's at least 5 people I know that think my way is right (i.e. they don't know any better)

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Your way makes no sense at all.

[asofel]

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same girl, one night, two incidents

friend puts a banana he is about to eat on a can of beer, girls asks what the banana is for, friend replies to keep it cold, girl puts a banana on her beer.

we are playing cranium. instead of rolling the dice she rolls the extra pieces and tries to figure out how many spaces to move for like a minute and we all just stare in AWE.

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this really cracked me up.

[CD56]

At work one day, one of the male coworkers was looking into buying a new truck and one of the girls was reading some of the classified ads out loud to him during lunch....

"97 chevy 4x4, 50,000 miles, with a V8"

-pause-

"i dont get it, why are they selling it with tomato juice?"

[gunt]

i have an aunt ( related to me by marriage ) who, when told my father was going to puerto rico for a business trip, responded: " oh, i hear europe is lovely this time of year."
the same aunt refered to a period during the middle ages as the time that faeries became extinct.

[gunt]

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i have an aunt ( related to me by marriage ) who, when told my father was going to puerto rico for a business trip, responded: " oh, i hear europe is lovely this time of year."
the same aunt refered to a period during the middle ages as the time that faeries became extinct.

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the same aunt, when she heard my mother got one lung removed from a benign tumor blocking her airway: " will it grow back?"

[Voltron87]

any young person that says "im looking for a car worth 50-60K."

[inlemur]

This happened abbout 5 years ago, my senior year of high school. My Spanish teacher was out for the day, and we had a substitute who didn't care what we did as long as we weren't obnoxious. So a few of us decide to play "Win Lose or Draw" (like charades, but you draw instead of act) to keep from being bored.

It's normal girl's (NG) turn to draw. She says "I can't think of anything", so impossibly stupid girl (ISG, seriously the most incompetent person I've ever met) says "Oh, I've got one you can use" then calls her over so she can whisper it into NG's ear. NG says OK, then starts to draw. She's drawn most of a tophat when ISG blurts out "OOH! Magician!"

We all just stared at her.

[kem]

So hard to pick just one, I came up with a few that really stood out in my mind:

1) My roommate (at MIT) was dating this girl from The Boston Conservatory. For those of you not familiar, this means she's a wanna-be-broadway-star. Girl was dumb as rocks, literally. We're sitting around the living room just hanging out. She asks me what I'm majoring in. I reply that I'm doing Electrical Engineering. She thinks for a second, then asks, "So what are you going to do with that after you graduate? Like air conditioning repair?" Took me a second or two to recover, and I just replied with a "Uh, yeah."

2) In high school, I'm busing tables at this nice restaurant. There's a waitress there working the lunch shift, nicest girl in the world, but dumb as rocks. By her own self-admission (because how else would anyone know this), she had smoked cigarettes for something like 2 or 3 YEARS before realizing that she wasn't inhaling them. And to make it even worse, upon realizing that she had never inhaled, and wasnt addicted, she learned how to inhale and kept right on going.

3) This guy I know who was well on his way to failing out of MIT did every drug under the sun. Nice guy though. One day I'm hanging out with him, and he starts telling me about how he just quit his coke addiction. Goes on and on about how tough it was, it was the hardest thing he ever did, it felt so good to be clean, etc. Goes on for a long time. I'm just like, "Uh, that's really great dude. How long have you been clean?" "Almost 2 days"

4) Same guy as #3. Don't remember if this is before, or after #3, but he's debating trying heroine for the first time, and talking to my friend and I about it. He explains that he really wants to try it, "because so many people have ruined their lives over it, I just want to find out what it's all about".. My friend summed it up pretty well: "Really? Because that's the exact reason why I don't want to try it"