Chilling vs. Dating

[Josh W]

I'm madly in love with my girlfriend. But before we were together, I was friends with this other girl. Let's just say that many of you have seen her on TV before. She was single, and in some sort of trouble. I helped her out.

We've been very close friends for a while now. She came up to me a few weeks ago, and she told me "Look, Josh, I know your heart belongs to your girlfriend, but I like you. But I'm afraid things would never work out between the two of us because you'll help me out, but never accept help from me".

She was right. I rarely ask for help from anybody (because of this, I struggle greatly at a great many things!!)

Now, I have no interest (nor have I ever) at dating her for a few reasons. But I thought about that a lot. I know that I help my girlfriend out a lot, and have since started to ask her for help. In fact, she was my loan processor when I bought my home.

If you wanna 'date' this girl, try to ask her for help with things. Right now, she may view you somewhat as a 'teacher' or 'superior' in some way, even if you don't. Asking for help from her can level that out.

I think.

Josh

[Josh W]

I was friends with my girlfriend for 7 years before we started dating. We've been dating for basically a year now.

Josh

[The Stranger]

[ QUOTE ]

If you wanna 'date' this girl, try to ask her for help with things. Right now, she may view you somewhat as a 'teacher' or 'superior' in some way, even if you don't. Asking for help from her can level that out.

I think.

Josh

[/ QUOTE ]

Thank you. I had never really thought about that.

I knew bringing this here wouldn't be a waste.

[siccjay]

Ahhhh....

You are in a bad bad spot. I'll reveal something to you, GIRLS LIE. She said she didn't want a relationship.....NONSENSE!! That doesn't mean she doesn't want you to sweep her off her feet (which you didn't do).

I won't argue too much about this on here because I've done it before and not many people believe me. I'll just refer you to here Ladder Theroy. Snoop around the rest of the site after you read that.

[The Stranger]

[ QUOTE ]
Ahhhh....

You are in a bad bad spot. I'll reveal something to you, GIRLS LIE. She said she didn't want a relationship.....NONSENSE!! That doesn't mean she doesn't want you to sweep her off her feet (which you didn't do).

I won't argue too much about this on here because I've done it before and not many people believe me. I'll just refer you to here Ladder Theroy. Snoop around the rest of the site after you read that.

[/ QUOTE ]

I guess that's what has left me jaded to the whole process. I no longer enjoy getting into thinking about "when she says this, she really means that" and so on and so on. I feel really in the minority, especially among men, that if I get involved with somebody, I would like it to be based on honest communication. It's something I may never find. But with this one I see potential of someone who has the right mix of good woman, cool chick, and character that I think I want.

[imported_anacardo]

Here's a quick thought: [censored] Ladder Theory.

Do you see why? I'll let others elaborate.

[siccjay]

[ QUOTE ]
Here's a quick thought: [censored] Ladder Theory.

Do you see why? I'll let others elaborate.

[/ QUOTE ]

OMGOOSH YOU ARE SO FREAKIN COOL!! LIKE A LIL BABY SKLANSKY!!!!

The ladder theroy is correct in many ways.

[sfer]

[ QUOTE ]
Once a friend always a friend. Sad but true.

[/ QUOTE ]

Not true as you get older.

[The Stranger]

I guess I never really got around to the question I meant to ask. Where is the line generally between:

Hanging out
Dating
Relationship
Serious relationship
?

[Yeti]

The Stranger - of course relationships can start like this. But do you want it to? In your post you never really mention being attracted to her or wanting to be anything more than friends. If you do, I'd do something pretty soon.

Josh W - Dump your gf and SII Paris Hilton's pooper.