I think god hates me

So I don't know what I did to deserve this, but I play in this home game about 30 miles away twice a week. I brave the Minnasota cold to drive out there, which isn't really all that bad when you drive a new mercedes-bens C230 (don't be jealous, I am really good at poker [img]/images/graemlins/wink.gif[/img] ) either way, driving it makes the ride go by really fast. So the buy-in is $25 and we have about 20 people who entered this tourney. Each player starts out with 1500 in chips, just like an online tourney.

I am destroying people from the first hand. I am at the final table, 5 players left. I am 3rd in chips. I am dealt A [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]K [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] and am big blind. Guy in late pos, lets call him "Eminem" as he....ummm...."bore a slight resemblance" (physically and in attire and actions) raises 3times the BB. no callers when it gets to me. He is chip leader and an enormous Marlin...the kind that you definitely have the natives beat to death with baseball bats so that you can take him home and hang on the wall of your family room to not only display your masculinity, but to also remind you of your trip to whatever exotic island.

I reraise to 10x the BB, and Eminem yells "Dis one's fa mah daughta" and calls.
Flop is A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img]K [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]9 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]
I am more than happy with that flop. I check to him, he makes a small bet, I push. he says "Yo sorry dawg, but dis hand is just 2 good to fold, I jus GOTSA call..." I am so excited that I am almost peeing my pants, it was either the excitment or the 8 beers in 2 hours with no bathroom break. He tables A [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img]J [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] with authority. I modestly show my A [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]K [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]. He is silent for the first time all night, he is not even singing along to the rap music anymore. Then it happens.....

Turn: J [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img]

River: J [img]/images/graemlins/diamond.gif[/img]

A whole lot of hooting and hollering ensues, I can't understand a word of it as I don't speak jive. But I stand up from the table like Mikey being pulled up by Knish.

As I am leaving, he says, "I knew I would win wif dat hand" I just laugh and enjoy my drunk drive home knowing that the tires on his "pimp-ass ride" (87 civic with mild body damage on 12" gold 100 spoke wheels) won't get him anywhere because "someone [img]/images/graemlins/cool.gif[/img]" cut them with a knife.

Either way, the moral of the story: "God loves to hate me, I had to stop on my way home to pee, and happy birthday Santa."