Semi-Life Crisis, need practical advice (longish)

I moved to austin on the first, confident that I had a good roomate and a job lined up.. then:

My roomate decides to let me know on the first that she isnt able to take out her usual (wtf!!) payday advance loans because the bank sid she wasnt good for it. Then she tells me she owes 300 on her electric bill and wants me to put it in my name because she cant pay that back.

I have a crisis of conscience: Im a nice/naive/stupid guy so I wont just walk out the door, and I already gave her my half of the rent. So I tell her that I cant float this expensive rent and will be moving to a dorm in january.

So that problem is slightly averted. Well, I was supposed to start my job orientation at chilis (I know) that sunday at 7:30. I didnt have my alarm clock with me, so she promised to wake me up. I woke up at about 11:30 to the sound of her taking a shower. K, Im pissed.

I am completely broke, took the last of my poker br out to pay for my half of the rent, and actually had to ask my cousin who lives in austin to loan me the gas money (I [censored] hate asking for [censored]). So Im back in houston, and my cousin tells me that he can get me a job delivering pizzas at Gattis.. he says it'll pay about $15/hr all told.

This brings up another problem: I havent been able to pay for insurance or registration on my car because the money just isnt there, but to get the job at Gatti's I'll need insurance. So I have to get insurance, probably in the form of my family's xmas gift to me. Well I havent heard back from my cousin yet, and I supposed to leave tonight.

Basically, I have no job, no money, no real place to stay and I need to attend texas state university in january. Im 21, and have 36 hours of credit; if I dont get to school this spring, Im pretty sure I'll write off my whole life as a failure and go be a pot smoking bum the rest of my life.

So what's my play? I need to locate a job that pays well enough to afford about 300-400 in rent, with some left over for food. I need a place to stay, and there's really nothing on craigslist.

basically, Im sure I'll get alot of tl;dr to this, and a ton of flaming. No matter, Im kind of at the end of my rope with this, and nothing anyone says on here can make it worse. If anyone could lend a piece of advice, either about a job, anyone they know who is looking for a roomate, or just a similar life experience, lemme know.

Thanks
-Eric