Children - what should I do?

[jackdaniels]

Lotsa good advice here.

I hear from everyone I know who has kids that:

1. It is MUCH harder than they bargained for (most people have kids because "they are supposed to" - without giving it much thought)

2. That they wouldn't trade the experience for ANYTHING (not to say there aren't people out there who would reverse the decision if it was possible, I just don't know any firsthand - well, except one guy, but he is also divorced so this may not count)

All in all, I think my biggest fear is that if I have children and don't like the situation, there really is no way back; you simply have to live with the consequences till the kids are old enough to take care of themselves. This irrevocable life changing decision is what scares me most. Shajen said he still "feels like a kid" and as such can't see himself having kids just yet. He also says that he thinks this will pass and eventually he will be "ready". Well, I feel the same way and DON"T want to change. I hope I can go through life feeling like a kid and if having kids is going to change that, well, that's just more of a reason to avoid the situation all together.

As for making a list of the good reasons for not having kids and discussiong with my wife: My procrastination technique has worked well so far and I worry that "having a serious talk" will simply reinforce my wife's yearning to have children. In fact, I worry that she will try to "win" the "should we have kids" argument just for the sake of "winning the argument" (not sure if this behaviour is specific to my wife or if other wives behave in a similar fashion) - ofcourse, this will end in a stance which will be very hard for her to reverse (since she will have "drawn her line in the sand" so to speak and will not want to "back down").