Growing up fatherless leads to self defeating personality?

[Ipodkid]

Grew up in a single parent home with an abusive mother, who to this day claims she never hit me...funny HRS removed me from home at 15 with black eyes...anyhow I am 26 now own my own company, have nice things and enough money to make most people happy. The thing is every time something goes good in my life I seem to find away to ruin it. Example...I make 13k commision in a month with my business and I lose 10k in a night in bodogs casino (i dont really even like gambling, but having all that money made me want to lose it) I meet a girl I love, and I do everything to push her away...think good will hunting Will's attachment issues. I used to play football it was a good outlit for my anger etc, but like most I didnt play college ball and have gained about 140lbs since high school. I literally am eating myself to death every day and often wonder if its my own way to committ suicide without everyone knowing thats what I did. I only ask this as my feet fall asleep about every hour now and I think im getting diabetes...what causes someone who has so much to hate themselves and want to ruin it?