I knew party poker blackjack would be the end of me...

[imported_leader]

What's done is done. The first thing you need to do is let it go because you've punished yourself enough already. The next step is to go out tomorrow and do something that has nothing to do with gambling of any kind. Go see a movie or something. On Monday, I'd start to make a plan about how to rebuild your BR. Find some bonuses so that even if you hit a down swing things won't be that bad. Then go and just play. The most important thing is that you learn a lesson from this. Internet blackjack=bad especially for you. Commit yourself to not doing it again not even a little.