Adultery IS a Sin

[David Sklansky]

Not actually a sin, since I don't know what that means. And not all adultery either. But unadmitted adultery behind your spouses's back is totally wrong unless it has been previously acquiesced to. (Regardless of what some psychologists might say.)

In spite of the qualifications above, what is left is the great majority of adultery cases. One spouse cheats on the other without ever telling him or her and without permission to do it or to not tell. (Sometimes a spouse will not give permission but will offer grudging acceptance along with the request NOT to be told. Yet another exception to what I'm talking about.)

One scenario, however that is not an exception, is a cheating spouse who stops cheating and decides, with or without "professional" guidance, that he or she should not confess. The idea being that nothing is accomplished by telling the spouse since he or she will now be a good little boy or girl.

The reason the above scenario is clearly unethical, EVEN if it increases the chances of saving the marriage, is that the wronged spouse might want to get a divorce and the adulterer has no right to force his spouse to stay in a marriage that would otherwise be ended.

Even if the adulterer believed that if, on their fiftieth anniversary, there is a ninety percent chance that the spouse upon finally being told about the cheating would forgive. And say she was glad the marriage survived. And perhaps even admit that it migh not have, had she been told, the aduterer had no right to deprive her of the information since there was a ten percent chance that he kept her from deciding to go on to a better life.

In other words since there will always be a chance that the wronged person would, years later, upon being told, say "that makes me not want to be married to you, even now. Meanwhile you stole years from my life by waiting to tell me" the adulterer has no right to take that chance. And as far as never telling at all, I say it is wrong to ever indefintely withhold information from your spouse that could reasonably be used by him or her to decide that you shouldn't be together (unless you have agreed otherwise).

Notice by the way that this post had nothing to do with sex.