Stepson Asking to be Naughty, My Play

[daveymck]

Stepson is nearly 13 and is generally a good kid a bit obnoxious and cheeky at times as kids are but not really any major problems.

So his school has a debit and credit reward policy and since returning to school he has had no debits for bad behaviour. His friends are typical middle of the road kids a bit of trouble but not bad kids all of them have got debits, so far in the term he hasnt but one of the swots has been giving him grief about not being one of the hard lads if has no debits, he says his friends are fine and dont give him any grief about it. The issue is compounded that next week at the end of term if you have no debits you go on stage in front of school assembley to get your reward certificate, obviously form his point of view its a credibility no no so he is set against it.

So last night he asked his mam if he could do one naughty thing to get a debit then returning to his normal good diciplined self. SHe wasnt really sure so he deceided to ask for my advice.

I checked that he wasnt getting bullied and said to him over life lots of people try and get you to do things and that you can either be a blind sheep and follow them or be independant and a leader and do what you know is best for you. Obviously he said he would rather be a sheep.

So I said we would rather he didnt do anything like that and that he should speak to his form tutor and say you dont want to go on stage if you have no debits as this is the main driver and see what her response is.

If its negative and still going on stage I said as a last resort he coud get a debit and said that it had to be for not doing his homework, which would mean he gets his debit but hasnt been bad in class and should be acceptable to his mam. It also means that it shouldnt change a teachers view of him which if happened could maybe lead to more trouble as the year goes on.

At the end I reiterated that I would rather he was strong and stuck to his own mind than blindly following.

He seemed happy with this so said was going to speak to tutor, his Mam is also going to ring to say she isnt happy about him going on the stage.

Personally I dont care if he gets a debit not the end of the world but also would like him to think for himself especially as he is getting to an age where peer pressure can make you do stupid things, also I want him to think he can come and talk to me or his mam about any troubles he is having, we have a pretty permissive house within bounderies so hopefully he will.

Any thoughts on what I said or if I should add any extra if I speak to him tonight.