i'm self-destructive

[MicroBob]

you should stop playing poker entirely.

you should cash-out all of the money you have on your accounts and invest it (or otherwise put it somewhere where you can't get to it and destroy it).

you should seek professional help.


I am completely serious about all of these things and know that I'm not the only one that thinks this.


You have some very serious problems that need to be addressed.
you should not be playing poker because you will likely continue the same path of self-destructive, tiltish behavior.

If you will admit that sometimes you are completely unable to control yourself and that you need to take steps NOW to keep yourself from self-inflicted damage (be it either cutting...or poker self-destruction...or whatever) then maybe you start to move forward.