What's the dumbest thing you have ever done that involves injury?

[pokerdirty]

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Most of these stories involve teenage idiocy which is easily forgivable. My story happened when I was almost 40 years old.

I was at a large party thrown by a computer distributor. Over 1000 people there including a lot of my own customers. Food and drink was free. I consumed too much of the drink.

It's late, there is a band on stage and about 10 semi-hot girls show up all at once and stand together over to the side. I figure someone paid them to come but as no one is taking charge of the situation I do it myself.

I bring over a bunch of my customers and start pairing them off with the girls to go dance. One of the customers objects - comes up with some lame excuse like he's married or something. I say fk it, I'll dance with her myself.

So I drag her right up on the stage in front of the band and about 1000 people and we dance away (I'm white so this wasn't pretty). At the end of the song I jump off the stage.

Stage is about 4 feet high and floor is cement. I was too drunk to land properly and hit and fell. I was completely embarrassed about the fall so I leaped to my feet and realized I couldn't stand on either foot. I threw one in front of the other until I got to my chair.

My friend had to drag me out on the chair and take me home. When we got to my house there were 2 girls passing by. I convinced them I couldn't walk and the 2 of them helped me into the house while my friend drove away.

At the front door I called to my girlfriend that I couldn't walk (and told the 2 helping me they better vanish at this point) Girlfriend calls out from the bedroom, "you can't walk because you're drunk!"

I reply that yes I am drunk but that's not the reason.

When my friend came to pick me up for work in the morning I still couldn't walk so he took me to the hospital where I found out I had one fractured ankle and one sprained one.

The sprain was so bad they wanted to cast them both but I convinced them to just do the fractured one.

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