Puking and then macking

[ThaSaltCracka]

So I was chillin with my cousin last night, and we headed down to this bar for a birthday party for someone he knows. I proceed to get hella hammered of of beer and jello shots. Around 11, I go outside and puke my [censored] brains out. I did that for a few minutes. As I sit on the ground, with my puke in front of me, and on my pants, my cousin comes out and calls me a pussy, yada yada yada. So with the encouragment and a piece of winterfresh, I find my second wind.

So, I head inside and see this one hole that looks doable. She has a cute face, and a good body, except that she has a big booty. To bad they don't make ass bags, but I digress. So I go and pimp it, we dance for a little bit, grinding to some white trash music. She is there with her aunt and uncle, and they want to leave and they suggest I come over to their house with their niece. Hell yeah I am coming, my dick says. So we leave, my cousin stays because he has some other honey dip waiting for him. I ride in this chicks car, its just me, her, and the smell of my puke on my jeans. We get to her aunts house, and for some absurd reason, no one has a key [img]/images/graemlins/ooo.gif[/img], wtf is that? No one has a key TO THEIR [censored] HOUSE. So I tell them I will hop the fence and see if I can get in through the back. The uncle says, no don't do that, but I am too [censored] up to listen to anyone other than my johnson. So I hop the fence, and land firmly on my back. The uncle says you are outta here, and some how he walks through the house and grabs me in the backyard. I am shown the door by the big booty bitch I was hoping to tap. As I walked through the back yard I noticed that they had a pool of some sort. Damn, that could have been fun. So I am shown the door, and I proceed to try and find my cousins house. He lives in some town that I don't know at all, but I think I am close. So I start walking, and proceed to walk down a dead end. You win this time street. I turn around and head back where I came from, so I walk by the BBB's aunts house again. I keep on walking, and somehow find some park. I think that if I walk through this park I can get to my cousins house. I was wrong.

I backtrack and get to some street corner and call my cousin. He says that I am like a few blocks away, but I can't say for certain. I ask him to come pick me up and he says he will in a few. So while I am waiting at this corner, practically passed out, some ugly girl with a nice personality asks me if I am okay. I tell her I am hella lost and need a bj. She says, well the bj isn't a problem, but I am not so good with directions. Okay I made the last two lines up. She asks me if I would like a ride, and I say yes. She then asks me if I am a psycho, and I say no, but I am hammered. She gives me a ride, I get to my cousins house, there are two broads there, but they leave shortly afterwards. I pass out.