Trash from the Left......

[Cyrus]

Since the moderators do not seem inclined to allow bad words on this page, I would recommend the use of euphemisms. Here's a list to get us started. These are all supposedly taken from actual Yearly Performance Evaluation Reports :


1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has started to dig."

2. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't-be."

3. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."

4. "This young man has delusions of adequacy."

5. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them."

6. "The consensus seems to be that this employee should go far - and the sooner he starts, the better."

7. "She doesn't have ulcers, but she's a carrier."

8. "He brings a lot of joy to the room whenever he leaves the room."

9. "When her IQ reaches 50, she should sell."

10. "Possesses a photographic memory but with the lense cover glued on."

11. "Consistent in his work quality and a prime candidate for natural de-selection."

12. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming."

13. "Works like he's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

14. "If this employee were any more stupid, she'd have to be watered twice a week."

15. "During meetings, if you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

16. "If you stand close enough to her, you can hear the ocean."

17. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

18. "One neuron short of a synapse."

19. "One would presume that it takes her 2 hours to watch '60-minutes'."

20. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."