Embarrassing sexual incidents

[zuluking]

I've got several:

Banging a girl in the park one night, we're really going at it and when its over, I look up and see some old guy, who had been out walking his dog, watching us. He just smiled and nodded and walked away without saying a word.
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I'm on top of this girl getting my rocks off and I look down to see her staring a the t.v. on the other side of the room. I'm like, "WTF are you doing?". She says, "Its okay, you can keep going, I just don't want to miss this episode of Deperate Housewives." So, wtf, I kept going.
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Then there's the chick who's kid was sleeping in the next room and she's telling me to be very quiet. So I'm "quietly" banging away when all of a sudden she starts screaming, "I'M COMING! YEAAAAWWWW!", and all the usual other sounds a screamer makes. Suddenly, knock-knock, at the door.
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Pick up a drunk chick one night and take her home. She goes to use the bathroom and I hear the tell tale wretching sound. I open the door, and realize she's a projectile vomiter. Its all over the walls and stinks like cheap booze and stomach acid. I retch too, all over her, as my gag reflex is on a short fuze. She passes out, and I'm cleaning the crap up for the next hour.