OOT come up with the worst opening sentence of a novel that you can.

[RiverFenix]

When fireman Frank Fuentes saw the young woman at the scene of the fire he was filled with a fiery passion, not from his love of putting out fires mind you( which is a very fiery passion for him indeed), but for this flamming hot woman who he wanted to take back to what he called "the furnace" and extinguish the flames he felt for her with his hose -- as he approached her he thought to himself "im going to have to SIIHP if i dont want to have that burning in the morning."