Bachelor Party trip report

[SomethingClever]

Last night was the 2nd bachelor party I've attended in the last 10 days. This one included a stabbing so I thought it was worth posting.

It was actually a double BP... two friends of mine are getting married about a month apart, so they decided to have one mega BP.

About 20 of us met at PGE Park to catch "Thirsty Thursday" and "Mullet Night" at the Beavers game (AAA baseball).

We all ordered two beers and sat down. Apparently the beers used to be $1 each on Thirsty Thursday... now they're $2. Still a good deal, but wtf?

In the top of the third, we fired up some "baseball poker," where everyone puts a dollar in a hat. You pass the hat around in order.... whoever is holding it when a batter from either team hits a double wins the entire pot. It took 4 innings. The winner immediately began showering himself in dollar bills and passing them out to nearby girls.

Bottom of the 9th, Beavers down by 2, 2 outs. Miguel "don't call me Tejada" Ojeda comes to the plate. Batting a buck-85.

We start chanting, "Two out rally! clap clap clap clap clap. Two out rally! clap clap clap clap clap"

He hits a home run.

Next dude grounds out and the Beavs lose, 3-2.

Outside the stadium, we encounter a [censored]-ton of bread scattered about. That's right, bread. I don't know where it came from, but there were thousands of slices of Sara Lee white bread all over the place.

We cross the street and head into The Matador, a dive bar.

I order a Jameson straight up. As I'm paying, two giant trays of shots were ordered and consumed by our group. bison was nowhere in sight, so the trays were in no danger of being tipped over at any time.

Someone from our group smuggled two full bags of the Sara Lee bread into The Matador, and a bread-fight ensued. We left shortly thereafter.

We crossed the river and headed to Union Jacks, a seedy-looking strip club that I'd never been to before. About half the group arrived late, having witnessed a stabbing outside across the street. I talked to one guy who says he saw intestines. Good times.

The strippers were pretty meh, and the music was so loud it made my brain bleed, so I eventually called it a night. jason_t was nowhere in sight, so no strippers were in danger of being banged at any time.

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