Why I'm a closet atheist

[Toffler]

I live in western South Carolina where I practice medicine. I am employed by the local hospital and earn a nice income. There is an extremely strong Baptist presence here in western SC. It is literally everywhere. Often my patients will inquire about my faith. Sometimes they ask me to pray for them. It is important to them that I be a Christian. They believe the Lord provides the cures; I'm an intermediary. The Lord is not going to work through an atheist. I will tell my patients that I'm praying for them if they ask me too. I think it helps them cope mentally with their illness.

If I were honest about being an atheist I would have very few patients and I suspect the CEO of the hospital would fire me. As well, several physicians on the staff are fundamentalist Christians. They too would like to see me go if they knew.

Another reason I am secretive is my family. They would genuinely be very worried about my soul spending eternity in hell. I do not want them to worry about that and so I just pretend to be a Christian.

By the way, one thing that does suck is this. When a patient does well it is the "Lord's blessing." When they do poorly it is my fault. I would prefer it be the Lord's will either way. Then no one would be likely to sue.

Toffler