Utterly embarrassing and honest confessions of a 1 year pro

[SenecaJim]

tstone, what you are going through is not pokerplayer exclusive. It's teen angst a little bit. That 's not a putdown. We have all been there.

I feel for you that the commiseration / and or advice you seek ( good stuff from what I read) had to be sought over the internet. You say you are an explorer, that's what meeting new people is about.

You threw out about your lack of social-needy like a badge of honor. Man, that is not a weakness to need friends. The inclination to even make that post ( and a good post it was, I do commend you ) goes against what you say. Along with becoming petulant at some of the responses. LIke one poster stated, hard to say stuff online without looking like a troll.

It's hard without knowing your circumstances, your upbringing, the male role-models in your life. you need some close to you whom you respect to guide you here. If I had pretty much said what you did in your post my family (esp. uncles and male cousins ) would have made my life a living hell. And I would not have been petulant or thought them trollish in the least cause I know they love me. IF they ever coddled my ego or psyche the hair on the back of my neck would stand up in my fear they don't love me anymore.

I don't know you so my comments would be meaningless but If I were an uncle or older brother I would tell you to quit whining about your job and get on with the business of living.

And work friends are great because even if you love your job no job,,NO JOB is perfect. And others with the same job can sympathize and advise like no other. So, since you moved way out from friends and stuff, why didnt' you move to where there are a bunch of pro's located ?

Well, this was longer than I attended. I have worked with young people all my life and I do empathize with the stage you are going through, so, keep your head up and as we always chanted in wrestling, Never give in, Never give in, Never, Never, Never give in . that mantra has gotten me through some tough times.