Broken Toilet

[2+2 wannabe]

my girlfriend, being the idiot that she is, flushed a tube of toothpaste down the toilet. of course she doesn't tell me until the toilet overflows (luckily she was just flushing post-blowing-nose kleenex down the toilet - but gave it a 3 flush when it was going slow).

i'm pissed off of course, but try and get it out (my arm is too big, and she won't put her arm down the toilet) - without success. i shut off the water to the tank, and the water begins to subside in the bowl. so i flush the toilet again and again etc. to get all the water out of the tank.

by the way, buying a toilet auger would have been a lot easier than taking apart the whole toilet - which, of course, is more fun (and my job as the man) - and, of course, what i did.

so i started unscrewing [censored], being the idiot i am, and wanted to get the bowl off the ground so that i could just pick the toothpaste out. it was a pain in the ass, and with the water valve connecting, etc. it just didn't work. so i gave up and started putting the [censored] back together.

then, of course, somehow the toilet tank cracks and the remnants from the bottom of the tank (probably about a litre or two of water) gushes on the ground. the girlfriend is watching tv and she's like "what ARE you doing??!?!" and i'm like "just fixing the toilet" knowing full well i just wrecked the [censored] thing.

so i get towels to clean the floor, and she's all like stomping over to see what's going on, so i lock the door (knowing again when i open it she'll see the cracked tank and go apeshit on me).

what's my move? (and how much does a toilet tank cost?)