The threads are too long

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Trust me, kid, don't go telling people to kill themselves. You're playing with fire.

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How old are you? 18? You never play with lighters as a kid?

I figure it's a neutral EV proposition for me to tell you to kill yourself. There's a very mild chance that you're emotionally unbalanced enough to kill yourself after starting a thread about how mind-numbingly stupid you are. After all, the thread is jokingly retarded. You might argue that however mild, the punishment for hitting that suicide jackpot makes it -EV, if only slightly.

This is offset by the fact that a) Darwinism worked, and I helped the human race and b) I've got a pretty good idea that God exists. At that point, I'll take jail, because I'd find humor in it all. Both, at that point, +EV.

Kid.