I must be retarded to do this

[vexvelour]

I keep making the same stupid ass mistake over and over again. I do it in tournaments, I do it in my home cash games.

I'm not a bad player, I swear.

I'll talk about the instance last night. Cash home game, .50/1 NLH. I was chipleader, had a bad beat on the previous hand and lost a chunk, but I am still up from my buy in. I decide, you know what, I'm tired of this jackyl raising the flop. I'm gonna come over him and make it $3 before the flop (which is considered a nice bit). About 60% of the time, he'll fold, 40% he'll call to see the flop.

Yadda yadda yadda, he bets, I go all in on nothing but a backdoor flush on the flop, which puts him entirely all in. He calls so quick it makes my skin crawl. I (of course) didn't catch my flush and he catches trips on the river.

What the hell is wrong with me?? I use my all-in as a weapon, but I always pick the wrong damn time to be macho with my chiplead. This brings me down from about $40 to a measly 5 or 6 bucks in chips. I've made some miraculous comebacks before, but situations like this put me on a crazy tilt (or in a tourney, comepletely out).

Ugggghhhhh someone help/hit me.