I love poker, but I have a gambling problem (Long).

[Johnny123]

Okay, so now I admitted it. I have a gambling problem. I'm posting here, hoping that someone could provide some ideas on how I should deal with this problem.

Here is my situation:

1. My life is, frankly, rather dull at the moment. I work part-time. I have too much time on my own. I spend a lot of time in front of my computer.

2. I play a lot of poker, and make money doing it. I am by no means a great poker player, but I am a consistent winner at microlimits and small stakes.

3. I whore casino bonuses. I use big bets to clear the bonuses fast.


I think that my problem basically is this: I find it hard to resist gambling. I sometimes don't quit when I should. I often take stupid risks, such as a $100 wager in blackjack hoping to get back to even after having lost lots of $5 bets. I sometimes become indifferent to a big poker loss, letting it become even bigger by sloppy play.

More and more often, I start to compulsively chasing losses. I know it's stupid. I know I should leave the poker table when I'm playing poorly. I know it's -EV to keep playing at a casino after clearing the bonus. Some months ago, these things did not happen very often. But now they do.

Today I blew $1350 at an online casino AFTER clearing the bonus. A few hours later, I did a similar thing at another casino. And this is a lot of money to me, so it's quite a big deal. I can do things such as telling myselt that if I am up $100, I'll quit. Then when I am up $100, I still don't quit. Then I lose, and think that "No matter what, I will not let my balance drop below $400." And then it drops below $400. And I still don't quit.

It's not like this happens everytime I gamble, but it happens and that's bad enough. I feel really bad afterwards, like some stupid, worthless addict.

When it's blackjack I get a big kick out of making big wagers, and sometimes I just can't stop myself from doing it.

When it's poker these things does not happen as often, but sometimes I keep playing far too long when I'm stuck and/or steaming, and sometimes I keep playing for a completely different reason - that I don't care. I sit with my stack and know that I'll probably lose it all. And I don't care.


So, what should I do about this? I know I gamble too much at the moment, but I don't want to stop completely. I like poker a lot, the strategy aspects, the psychology, the maths etc. And it has become a source of income that I more or less rely on at the moment, since I don't make that much money at my part-time job.

Maybe I should stop doing casino bonuses, but then again it's +EV and very easy money. Despite my crazy losses, I have still made a few thousand dollar through this.

I would simply like to be able to gamble rationally. Which I usually am. But then it happens, perhaps after a week of solid, winning poker play, I go on supertilt again and lose half of what I had won that week through sheer stupidity. And tell myself that this was the last time. But I know in my heart that it isn't. And I would like that to change.

I don't want to talk to an organization such as GA (although I have seriously considered it) since I don't want to stop gambling. I have been thinking about seeing a therapist for this. Some years ago, I saw a therapist for other problems, and that helped.

I am going to take a week off from all non-poker gambling right now. And after that week, I have promised myself not to wager more than $10 on any one hand when playing blackjack. And to always try to stay focused and controlled when I play poker. Try to go back to what I used to be able to do, which was focusing on studying and improving my play rather than short term results. I'm convinced that I need to do these things for the sake of my bankroll and sanity, but I do not think that it's enough to overcome my problems.

So.. if any of you who bothered to read this has any thoughts about what I should to, I would appreciate your comments. Thanks.