Define Palestinian: "Jew-Hater." Dennis Miller Rant.

[Cornell Fiji]

I recieved this as a forwarded email and found it quite interesting... discuss.

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"For those who don't know, Dennis Miller is a comedian
who has a show called Dennis Miller Live on HBO. He is
not Jewish. He recently went on a rant about the
Mideast situation:

"A brief overview of the situation is always valuable,
so as a service to all Americans who still don't get
it, I now offer you the story of the Middle East in
just a few paragraphs, which is all you Really need.
Here we go: The Palestinians want their own country.
There's just one thing about that: There are no
Palestinians. It's a made up word. Israel was called
Palestine for two thousand years. Like "Wiccan,"
"Palestinian" sounds ancient but is really a modern
invention. Before the Israelis won the land in the
1967 war, Gaza was owned by Egypt, the West Bank was
owned by Jordan, and there were no "Palestinians". As
soon as the Jews took over and started growing oranges
as big as basketballs, what do you know, say hello to
the Palestinians," weeping for their deep bond with
their lost "land" and "nation." So for the sake of
honesty, let's not use the word "Palestinian" any more
to describe these delightful folks, who dance for joy
at our deaths until someone points out they're being
taped. Instead, let's call them what they are: "Other
Arabs Who Can't Accomplish Anything In Life And Would
Rather Wrap Themselves In The Seductive Melodrama Of
Eternal Struggle And Death." I know that's a bit
unwieldy to expect to see on CNN. How about this, then:
"Adjacent Jew-Haters." Okay, so the Adjacent
Jew-Haters want their own country. Oops, just one more
thing. No, they don't. They could've had their own
country any time in the last thirty years, especially
two years ago at Camp David. But if you have your own
country, you have to have traffic lights and garbage
trucks and Chambers of Commerce, and, worse, you
actually have to figure out some way to make a living.
That's no fun. No, they want what all the other
Jew-Haters in the region want: Israel. They also want
a big pile of dead Jews, of course --that's where the
real fun is -- but mostly they want Israel. Why? For
one thing, trying to destroy Israel - or "The Zionist
Entity" as their textbooks call it -- for the last
fifty years has allowed the rulers of Arab countries
to divert the attention of their own people away from
the fact that they're the blue-ribbon most illiterate,
poorest, and tribally backward on God's Earth, and if
you've ever been around God's Earth, you know that's
really saying something. It makes me roll my eyes
every time one of our pundits waxes poetic about the
great history and culture of the Muslim Mideast.
Unless I'm missing something, the Arabs haven't given
anything to the world since Algebra, and, by the way,
thanks a hell of a lot for that one. Chew this around
and spit it out: Five hundred million Arabs; five
Million Jews. Think of all the Arab countries as a
football field, and Israel as a pack of matches
sitting in the middle of it. And now these same folks
swear that if Israel gives them half of that pack of
matches, Everyone will be pals. Really? Wow, what neat
news. Hey, but what about the string of wars to
obliterate the tiny country and the constant din of
rabid blood oaths to drive every Jew into the sea?
Oh, that? We were just kidding. My friend Kevin Rooney
made a gorgeous point the other day: Just reverse the
Numbers. Imagine five hundred million Jews and five
million Arabs. I was stunned at the simple brilliance
of it. Can anyone picture the Jews strapping belts of
razor blades and dynamite to themselves? Of course
not. Or marshaling every fiber and force at their
disposal for generations to drive a tiny Arab State
into the sea? Nonsense. Or dancing for joy at the
murder of innocents? Impossible. Or spreading and
believing horrible lies about the Arabs baking their
bread with the blood of children? Disgusting. No, as
you know, left to themselves in a world of peace, the
worst Jews would ever do to people is debate them to
death. Mr. Bush, God bless him, is walking a
tightrope. I understand that with vital operations in
Iraq and others, it's in our interest, as Americans, to
try to stabilize our Arab allies as much as possible,
and, after all, that can't be much harder than
stabilizing a roomful of super models who've just had
their drugs taken away. However, in any big-picture
strategy, there's always a danger of losing moral
weight. We've already lost some. After September 11th
our president told us and the world he was going to
root out all terrorists and the countries that
supported them. Beautiful. Then the Israelis, after
months and months of having the equivalent of an
Oklahoma City every week (and then every day) start to
do the same thing we did, and we tell them to show
restraint. If America were being attacked with an
Oklahoma City every day, we would all very shortly be
screaming for the administration to just be done with
it and kill everything south of the Mediterranean and
east of the Jordan."