Poker and Competitiveness

[sethypooh21]

I think many of us have multiple reasons for playing poker. Dr. Al's book even encourages us to assign percentage values to them. (I did not actual do this when I read the book, as it seemed to me that it would be like declaring that there is a 34% chance of rain today. But I did recognize the importance of understanding the relative mix of motivations. End segue.)

I can easily divide mine into 3 categories: first, and primarily is the financial aspect of it. My poker income helps (to the point I worry I might start taking it for granted. How long can the games stay good?)

The other two are related. First there is the logic puzzle aspect of the game. I derive both enjoyment and affirmation from workng out this puzzle. I often get as much satisfaction from determining exactly what another player is holding in a hand in which I am not involved as I do when I win a nice pot.

The last aspect is the most troublesome as it seems to represent something of a razor's edge for me. I'm a competitive person. I've played sports "competitively" through college and continue to enjoy them on a more "recreational" basis. This mentality has served me well in poker in certain regards: The desire to learn and get better. The ability to be mentally tough enough to be patient enough to get good hands and the ability to shrug it off when those good hands lose.

The downside is that I probably have always hated losing more then I love winning. As with the logical aspect of poker, I definately derive affirmation from 'winning' at any endeavor. When I was new to poker, this need to win often lead to the dreaded berating. Thankfully, I've largely (though sadly not completely. One suggestion I have heard is to play with a stack of dollar bills by the laptop, and everytime I type something nasty, to just rip one in half.) elminated this from my game. However, the negativity I have on bad runs affects me way more then it really should. I pride myself on being even-keeled, but after losing days or weeks, I find that this is not really the case. I might not have the imagination to adopt what Feeney called the professional mentality. If I won $x today but broke even yesterday, I don't feel like I've earned x/2 dollars per day.

Thoughts or suggestions, anyone?