At Least I Have My Right Hand

[Skip Brutale]

The cold breeze blew across my back as I washed the windows of the real estate office. To my left tires were being changed and behind me men and women sat comfortably on bar stools sipping away at their cure and answer.

While washing away my mind thought of tonight, would the date go down? I have a feeling she wont show. Why does this concern me so? I feel I need another to be complete but others never make you whole. My mind knows this but my heart is yet to learn.

Or maybe I'm just horny and want her to come so I have a chance at [censored] her. This is probably more likely than my being sensitive and emotionally torn. Too bad I'm nervous. You can intellectualize all day how you shouldn't be nervous about such things, but in the end, you always are.

If she doesn't like me it's like death. It's like facing a death. Another chance at legacy, at love, at fullfilment shot down because you are not good enough. Another chapter that will never be written in a very short, very boring book. I doubt women feel this, or can understand it, because they are always the grasp'ed rather than the grasping. What if your hands come up empty in the end? Well then, you've always got your right hand.