I AM A RETARD

[DJA]

I'm playing in a PokerStars Satellite tournament for the Aussie open...
There were 18 opponents (most quite good), and we are down to the final 3

I have T 11,160
Guy 1 has T 6,920
Guy 2 has T 8,920

The top 2 players win a seat in the $500 round 2 satellite, 3rd gets $20 1/3 of his buy in back.

I have won probably the last 7 out 10 hands with a raise btf. I am by far the most aggressive, and I want into the $500 tourney.

The Blinds are T100 - T200 and antes are T25...

I am dealt the 9c 9s... The small blind limps... this isn't uncommon actually, and he doesn't necessarily have a monster. He is a trapper, but I have been raising him out to this point.

This is where I lose my mind... I raise it to T2000 5X the pot... I still feel sick from it. He comes over the top for the rest of his chips. I have to call T4895 more...

What do you do after making the retarded play preflop?

I think it should have been an easy fold, but my hand spasmed and I called... He shows JJ and takes it down.
I was playing really aggressive, so maybe he makes this play with an under pair. I should have laid down though... I think.

It makes me ill to play well for 95% of the tournament just to give up in the end.

How retarded was I?

Thanks In Advance,