My life in shambles (not poker related)

[kyro]

This is a sob story. This is a chance for me to get everything out to a bunch of anonymous poker players. This probably belongs in the OOT forums, but this has as much to do with psychology as anything.

I'm a junior at Penn State University. I made the decision tonight to withdraw from the semester, and to reapply for next semester. When I went home for break, I hinted to my parents that I wasn't getting very good grades. Though upset, she basically told me that I would be paying my tuition from here on out. As I'm out of state, that's about $30K per year.

What I didn't tell her is that I would be most likely failing a class or two, and it was too late to withdraw from them. If I had to guess, I'd say I had 2 F's and 4 C's coming my way. I've had 2 C's in my entire lifetime, and this is what I'm expecting. I'm not sure what happened.

I lost all my will to work this semester. I love my major, but hated the classes I had to take for them. (I'm an actuarial science major. I had to take several business for dummies classes.) The worst part is, one of my Fs is in Insurance, which is based on my major. It's not that it's above me, or that I didn't enjoy it. I just didn't have it in me this semester to do ANYTHING. I basically pissed away $15K to have a good time.

I want to get my life back on track. I want to come back next semester, with the same classes, and ace them. I want to be able to study, and not worry that 2 hours isn't enough time to cram. I want to be able to look towards my future and know that I'll have a job lined up, instead of wondering if some random company will hire Joe Schmo with a 2.0 GPA. Currently, I have a 3.44 GPA. I'm an incredibly, intelligent person. Intelligence only gets you so far though. There's no reason for me not to do well in school, not to have a job/internship lined up for me when I graduate. But, here I am, writing about how I tried to ruin my life.

I'm not sure what I want from this post. I don't really expect any replies. I'll probably get more flames if anything. I needed to express myself though. Hell, if anything, now I know what I can say to my mother tomorrow when she ask "What the [censored] do you mean you're withdrawing."

Thanks for reading. If you feel like replying at all, feel free. My feelings won't be hurt at all by anything you have to say. Even if it's "No one gives a *bleep*"