Stupidest poker strategy/statements ever heard...

[Kerplunk]

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That had to be the funniest thing I've heard in a while.... an actual person stating the ever popular: "But.... It was SOOOOOOTED!!!!!"

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Here's a good one that occurred to me recently...

Home game, low limit hold 'em. Player 1 is a pretty poor player who likes to chase draws and occasionally bluff. He's up a little and thinks he's schoolin' the table. Player 2 is decent and (like the rest of the table) has figured Player 1's game. I'm a spectator in this hand:

Preflop: Player 1 raises. Player 2 calls.
Flop: A [img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 7[img]/images/graemlins/spade.gif[/img] 4 [img]/images/graemlins/heart.gif[/img] Player 1 bets. Player 2 calls
Turn:T [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] Player 1 bets. Player 2 raises. Player 1 calls.
River A [img]/images/graemlins/club.gif[/img] Player 1 checks. Player 2 bets. Player 1 shakes his head and before folding, says he had 74 and the river A killed his two pair.

I look at him lazily and say "Shut the f*** up. You didn't have two pair."

P1: I swear I did.
Me: C'mon. You're gonna tell me you raised before the flop with 74
P1, first great line: (pause)I did?
Me: Uh, yeah. You did.
P1, second great line: (weakly) But they were suited.

By this time, the whole table was laughing, and even P1 had a tough time keeping a straight face.