60k in 60 Days: Season 2 - Day 37 and 38

[gonores]

So who did I fool? Did I have anyone thinking that I was really a good poker player? Somehow, I haven’t even put together a winning session in the past three days, and if you count my last session on Monday and stop in the middle of my first session on Thursday, I put together a ~250BB, or $5000 downswing. Well…I had two losing days in the first 33 days…can’t say I wasn’t due.

I’ve spent a lot of time talking poker over the past days, weeks, and months with people I’ve met through 2+2, and I never feel dumber than when I talk to them during a downswing. Is there really any way to come across as the consummate pro when the first words you hear from someone is “You running better today?” There are a few ways one can respond to it, but they all sound dumb to me.

Response 1: “Naw, dude. I’m still taking it on the chin.”
“That sucks.”
“Eh, oh well…How you doing?”
- sounds like I am avoiding the subject and in denial. Not putting in enough effort to work my way out of it.

Response 2: “Nope. If you like money, you better get to my tables. I’m having a firesale on my chips [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]”
- Sounds bitchy and sarcastic.

Response 3: “Nope, not running good at all, but I must say I’m surprisingly upbeat and confident.”
- Contrived response. I have a test to see if a person tilts. If that person says “I don’t tilt,” it is a surefire way to tell that this person does, in fact, tilt. This statement doesn’t pass the test.

Response 4: “Nope. I g/g”
- Says “I’m so f-ed up from this run that I can’t even conduct myself properly within the context of a social situation.”

I guess I just don’t have the tact necessary to properly convey my mindset. Honestly, it’s hard for me to come down on myself when I can look at any given day and identify what went wrong. Furthermore, its hard to get down on myself when I look back on the past 38 days and realize I still have only had 5 losing days (maybe 6…I didn’t exactly count) over those days. Like I said before…I was due.

So now that I’ve had this little love session with myself, let’s take a look at the facts. Wednesday night comes around…I am on pace to pick up 3000 hands on Wednesday, for a total of like 9500 hands since Monday when the 7 day hand challenge with fsuplayer started. Then THE hand happens. I open-raise with KJo, and am called by CO and the SB. I bet at a flop of 779r, and CO calls. When another 9 comes on the turn, I decide my best line of play is check-raise my opponent, who will certainly auto-bet if I check to him. Welp, he 3bet me, I folded, and I bring the hand up to Schneids and a few other players. I spend 10 minutes arguing with the guy, convinced that my play was correct. Finally, after Schneids et al give up on me, I stop, shake my head, and realize I’m riding the short bus. I decide to check out for the evening, take a very light Thursday, and drive out to Minnesota for the weekend, effectively conceding my hand challenge to fsuplayer. It still feels like a less negative long term EV decision. I needed to hit the reset button. As it stands right now, I doubt I’ll be able to make it 3 more weeks doing what I need to do to complete the challenge.

Running bad, however, isn’t all bad. There are certain things one can only do properly when in the mindset brought about by a bad run. For instance, I wrote an “Airing of Grievances” letter to my apartment management company. An excerpt:

“…Clearly, not only have we not received these little perks, we have not even had a satisfactory experience with (management company). As such, Andy (my roommate) has already made plans to find alternative housing at the end of this semester. If we were not certain that we could provide more of a financial burden on your company by honoring our contract and letting Doug live here throughout the remainder of the lease as opposed to attempting to opt out of the contract and allowing a more tranquil tenant to move in, Doug would certainly follow suit and move out as soon as possible.

As it stands right now, we are uncertain as to just how irreparable the damage is to our relationship with your firm. Suffice to say, given the track record, we are not anticipating much in terms of an olive branch.”

It’s hard for a 22 year old to write that when he is pulling down 10k a week. Way easier after he’s lost 5k. I won’t get into the details, but I’ll be honest and say once I get into a little better mood, I’m going to realize these transgressions aren’t worthy of an open declaration of war against my management company.

Another thing you get to do when you’re running bad: break things you were gonna throw out anyways. On Monday, I finally had it with my mouse. I’ve owned it for about 6 months, and my normal routine is pick it up and forcefully slam it down a few times after a bad beat…it’s like a stress ball. Over the months, its quality has declined steadily with every 6-inch drop it takes. So I finally go out and buy a new one on Tuesday morning. Wednesday rolls around, and I’m taking it on the chin at the tables again. I take a look at my desk and realize my old mouse is still sitting there, looking all smug and content. I get a little grin and decide that the next bad beat I take, I’m officially ending this mouse’s career. The next bad beat comes around, and I launch this unsuspecting piece of plastic into my dresser. Unfortunately, I guess I didn’t go down the pre-launch checklist to make sure all systems were go. I look down and realize my old mouse is still on my desk. So what did I throw? The new mouse. Goddammit. I suck.

It’s getting late in the day and I need to get ready for Minnesota, so I am not going to put together a synopsis of my days. Furthermore, due to the lack of responses I receive with respect to my hand postings, I am just going to take them out of the journal and begin posting them in the HUSH forum. I was down something like $1440 on Day 37 and up like $230 on Day 38, with maybe 1600 hands played on weds, and 600 played on Thursday. I am about $900 behind pace right now.

Oh yeah…eff you, poker gods. I shall continue to blaspheme. You are not powerful enough to make me fail in this endeavor.