Ethics of playing with your girlfriend

[Toonces]

On occasion, I play at the same table with my girlfriend. She is a relative newbie compared to me, but she plays a tight enough game that she does okay. When we have played at a table together, we never show each other our cards. But to be honest, I don't care if I lose money to her as long as we both do well, and it can affect my betting decisions.

Given that, which of these principles should govern my play at the table? Which describes how you feel, and how you would act in a similar situation.

1) Playing in a way that is collusive (for example, reraising her raises without very strong cards) is against the house rules and you deserve to be kicked out.

2) Playing in a way that is collusive is unethical and will rightfully piss off the table, but noone can tell you how you can play your cards.

3) You probably should not collude by reraising without justification, but staying out of your partners way is completely appropriate.

4) If you can't play as individuals, you have no business playing at the same table.

[BigBaitsim (milo)]

This one is a no-brainer. Never played in a casino, but have played home games and lodge tourneys with husbands and wives at same table, and my wife has sat in a few times at my home game. If you can't play her like anyone else, don't sit at the same table with her. Anything else is team play and totall b*llsh*t.

Given that having her there effects your play, your shouldn't play at the same table.

[JrJordan]

3. I think most people here agree that collusion is a big no no. However, I don't see a huge deal with avoiding each other so no one has to sleep on the couch that night. They make a reference in Rounders (I know I know, another Rounders reference) to this when Worm and Mike go to AC. The piranhas don't get in each other's way. They're not playing together, but then again they're not playing against each other either. Seems ethical enough for me.

[Sundevils21]

I've played at a b&m a grand total of 1 time and my wife came along. I played 3-6 and she played 2-4. We both signed up for the NLHE 10+rebuy tournament that must have had 200 or so players. Guess who is at my table, my wife. So we play how we would always play. It's kind of interesting though, this being a rebuy tournament and all. I had never given serious thought to colusion in tournaments, but in a rebuy not only could you dump your stack to somebody, but you could do it a repeated amount of times. We ended up never playing a hand past the flop against one another.

I wonder about late in tournaments, like the final 5 or so(or especially final 3). Anybody have any expirience with husbands and wives playing against(or with) each other. I know that old lady, Mareen Feduniak(spelling?) and her husband both play a ton of tournaments together. Wonder if they've both made it to the end of one.

[TankSJ]

It's no different than the regulars who play with each other day after day. They're not married (although they probably spend more time together than with their spouses), but they play with each other enough to know each other's style and know not to get in each other's way. If you can't play your wife (or friend) just like you would anybody else, then you shouldn't play at the same table.

-tank

[SossMan]

I had no problem playing w/ your girlfriend...

(insert rim shot here)

sorry, couldn't resist.

[Toonces]

The difference is that I have both an indirect financial stake, and a psychological stake in her winning (in so that she becomes more confident and wants to continue to play poker). So if she preflop-raises in early position and gets cold callers, and I am in late position with A3s, it seems right to reraise from an EV standpoint, since I'm not concerned about being dominated by my girlfriend (actually, I kind of like that...rimshot). But, I probably would not make the same move against another tight player.

Is it realistic to expect a husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend to not act that way? I've never really played poker at the same table as a loved one before, so I don't want to break house rules or break some ethical code. And I certainly understand why others at the table would be upset at the situation. It just seems weird to play under some moral code in which you have to make negative EV moves, because you are supposed to pretend that money that your girlfriend wins from you isn't going to treating you to dinner and a movie sometime in the future.

But if it's just that it doesn't make sense to play together, so be it, since we usually play at different limits anyway.

Of course, this is a little different than playing with a friend, where you would like to see him do well, but you'll never see the money back that he wins from you.

[TankSJ]

[ QUOTE ]
Of course, this is a little different than playing with a friend, where you would like to see him do well, but you'll never see the money back that he wins from you.

[/ QUOTE ]

And you think if your wife/GF wins you'll be seeing any of that money??

Last time I was in Vegas I sat at a table that had a BF/GF playing together. They seemed to be regulars and there wasn't any suspicious jamming so I never gave it much thought. I guess I didn't mind since neither of them was doing very well. They were pretty up front that they were BF/GF (telling each other "nice hand honey" when one of them took down a pot) so I guess if anyone else felt uncomfortable they could have requested a table change. I should say that each of them played their own hands and there was no flashing of each other cards either.

Luckily for me I'll never have this problem as my wife loathes LV and doesn't like to gamble.

-tank

[John Deere]

Dude, please don't play with your girlfriend at the table. If you don't have a room, you can probably get a good poker rate on one.

[fat_nutz]

I think this quote from Rounders applies equally well, if not better:

"In the poker game of life, women are the rake, man. The fuckin' rake."