Telling a girl you have an STD

[HopeydaFish]

Gee, thanks for the link.

[craig r]

How about: "You know how it is really nice to see a commercial about Herpes medicine and you are real happy you aren't one of those people? Well, now you get to experience what it is like to be one of those people with herpes. But, don't worry, you can now run on the beach and do all of the activities just like those people. So, what is for dinner?"

Alright, sorry for being such a smart ass. If you have slept with the person, of course you should tell them. If you haven't slept with the person, but KNOW you are going too, then you should tell them. But, if you really don't know how the relationship is going I really don't know what to tell you. I can only imagine how hard it would be to have something like that and trying to get close (emotionally) and not knowing whether telling her something like that would completely push her away. My guess is that it most likely will for most people. And I am not saying that to be mean or cold; just trying to be honest. Either way, use a condom if you have sex (any kind) with her. But, I wouldn't get seriously involved with her, have sex with her (with or without a condom), and then tell her. You will just have to pick the perfect time, preferably over dinner, when you meet her mom, or are caught peeping in her window (sorry couldn't resist...I really do feel sorry for you, but I like to add humor to tough situations).

craig

[pokerjoker]

SIIHP

Hey OP...

Sucks doesn't it? Don't you wish you could turn back time?? Well i can't give advice... But i will say that the fact that you are CONSIDERING the consequences if you dont' tell and are even considering telling your nexxt partner shows you care... which tells a lot about your character...

With this in mind, i think your decision will be a good one...

A more practical answer: GO with your gut... it seems like your gut decision will be a good one... I think you'll do the right thing and i think the other person will understand... good luck man...

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wait you can get genital herpes by getting head from girls who also have genital herpes?


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No, but you can from someone that has oral herpes.

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and one in four girls have genital herpes?


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Something like that

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I was TERRIFIED of telling them. I felt like they would shun me. I was afraid of anyone knowing. The stigma attached to herpes is awful. But it is so unfounded. It's not the end of the world. Life goes on. There are many more important qualities to desire in a partner than worrying about whether or not they have herpes.


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Thanks for the post. I appreciate you taking the time to make a temporary account just to answer my questions. I agree the stigma attached to herpes is awful. It's far far worse than the actual effects of the disease, IMO.

Did you tell your previous partners after you had already slept with them or before? How long had you been dating them and how did they react?

Another thing -- are you sure there are completely reliable clinical tests? My doctor gave me one diagnosis and the blood test had another result ... I didn't know what to make of it. I had this done at a free STD clinic, so I guess my next step would be to go to another doctor.

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Hey OP...

Sucks doesn't it?


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[img]/images/graemlins/frown.gif[/img]

[imported_anacardo]

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If I had this disease I would probably kill myself.

http://herpes-coldsores.com/std/herpes_pictures.htm

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That's the saddest-looking snatch I've ever seen.

[Landon_McFly]

Can you get herpes on your pubic hair region directly below your bellybutton?? The reason I ask is because my ex had HPV, but we never had sex without condoms. One day she thought i had a bump or something on my dick, but after she examined it she said it was a false alarm and it was just a razor bump (I shave my pubes). Well anyway, I have the same looking bumps on mu pubes region right now, but I haven't shaved lately.

These bumps would occur even before I ever had sex, that's why I'm not too worried, but whenever I have shaving pimples on my face I can kinda pop them and they heal quickly. I did that to these and it's taking MUCH longer. If someone can find a site that has pics of VERY MILD cases of STDs that might help. Or STD imposters (which i think this could be)

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Thanks for the post. I appreciate you taking the time to make a temporary account just to answer my questions. I agree the stigma attached to herpes is awful. It's far far worse than the actual effects of the disease, IMO.



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You're very welcome. The stigma IS far worse than the actual disease. Most people don't realize that, with suppression therapy, you can go years without an outbreak.

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Did you tell your previous partners after you had already slept with them or before? How long had you been dating them and how did they react?



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I told my partners BEFORE I slept with them. This is so very important. I told them when a) I felt I could trust them with the "secret" and b) when it was now or never time as far as having sex, and that timing can vary between people. I mean, you can't predict how they're going to react. Not everyone is going to accept it and say ok I will have sex with you. But honestly, anyone who thinks less of you for this? Screw them. Not literally, heh. I honestly don't think it matters at all how long you wait, as long as you tell them before sex. And this means all sex -- oral, intercourse, even just touching.

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Another thing -- are you sure there are completely reliable clinical tests? My doctor gave me one diagnosis and the blood test had another result ... I didn't know what to make of it. I had this done at a free STD clinic, so I guess my next step would be to go to another doctor.

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Hmm. No I am not 100% sure. I know there is a culture than can be taken, and there is a blood test that can be taken. I would not trust anything that is just a visual test. Get a second opinion.

As far as those pictures go... most of those are worst case pictures. Damn, if I had outbreaks like that I would probably go nuts. Everyone is different. Maybe I am one of the lucky ones. Who knows.

As far as the poster who said I should have posted under my usual account... no thanks. I am selective about who I share this with. Not everyone is as unjudgmental as I am. There is no reason for it to be known to the general public (which goes 1000 times for OOT).