What's the dumbest thing you have ever done that involves injury?

[pokerdirty]

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Most of these stories involve teenage idiocy which is easily forgivable. My story happened when I was almost 40 years old.

I was at a large party thrown by a computer distributor. Over 1000 people there including a lot of my own customers. Food and drink was free. I consumed too much of the drink.

It's late, there is a band on stage and about 10 semi-hot girls show up all at once and stand together over to the side. I figure someone paid them to come but as no one is taking charge of the situation I do it myself.

I bring over a bunch of my customers and start pairing them off with the girls to go dance. One of the customers objects - comes up with some lame excuse like he's married or something. I say fk it, I'll dance with her myself.

So I drag her right up on the stage in front of the band and about 1000 people and we dance away (I'm white so this wasn't pretty). At the end of the song I jump off the stage.

Stage is about 4 feet high and floor is cement. I was too drunk to land properly and hit and fell. I was completely embarrassed about the fall so I leaped to my feet and realized I couldn't stand on either foot. I threw one in front of the other until I got to my chair.

My friend had to drag me out on the chair and take me home. When we got to my house there were 2 girls passing by. I convinced them I couldn't walk and the 2 of them helped me into the house while my friend drove away.

At the front door I called to my girlfriend that I couldn't walk (and told the 2 helping me they better vanish at this point) Girlfriend calls out from the bedroom, "you can't walk because you're drunk!"

I reply that yes I am drunk but that's not the reason.

When my friend came to pick me up for work in the morning I still couldn't walk so he took me to the hospital where I found out I had one fractured ankle and one sprained one.

The sprain was so bad they wanted to cast them both but I convinced them to just do the fractured one.

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A-/B+

because you are old [img]/images/graemlins/smile.gif[/img]

[pokerdirty]

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I have two, first one was last year, and I decided to show my sons some tricks on the skateboard. I took an intertube, and wrapped it around the skateboard so that I could jump over things while riding the skateboard. I decided that I could jump over a trash can on its side. I cleared the trash can, but hit a rock on the asphalt which caused me to faceplant, and break my wrist. Pretty stupid thing to teach your kids....

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B, dumbass.

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Second one was in 7th grade we had a hill called Cliff Drive. Biggest hill in town, and I was riding my bike down the hill after school, and decided it would look cool if I put my feet on the front forks. My foot slipped and got caught in the spokes at 35MPH+, and flipped me over the handle bars. Results were broken foot, two boken wrist, and road rash on 50% of my body, including my face.

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A, multiple broken bones are good

[WackityWhiz]

Like others, I didn't do this intentionally but I could've avoided it.

I was in 5th grade music class and we were just coming back to our seats from a little game we played at the front of the room. Well, a bastard kid who sat beside me decided to hold a freshly sharpened pencil on my chair so I would sit down on it. I should've looked before I sat down I guess because it went straight through my mesh basketball shorts I was wearing. Lucky for me I didn't sit down directly in the middle because that would've involved extensive surgery I believe. The pencil went 3 1/2 inches through my ass cheek, about 1/2 inch away from my brown eye and a few centimeters away from my colon. It remarkably did not hurt at all. So what's a kid to do? I just stand up and leave the class... don't tell my teacher or nothing. I walk into the nurses office and tell her that I sat on a pencil. I'm not sure what her reaction was because I was pretty flustered. I was sweating a lot and she gave me the option of riding in the backseat of my grandma's car or taking an ambulance to the hospital. I chose grandma. So two of the bigger male teachers come and lift me into the backseat so I can lay on my stomach. We get to the hospital and they do some x-rays and crap. I get a few shots in my ass, one that sent terrible pains down my entire right leg, i'm thinking a tetnis shot. Well about 4 doctors huddle around and they start to pull. The pencil didn't come out easy, it was lodged in the bone. When it did start to come out, it hurt really really really bad. Somehow the pencil did not break.

So I went through school being called 'pencil ass' til about 10th grade. I'm not sure if any of you remember this super bowl commercial, but it involved a guy throwing a pencil through his office ceiling and impailing his boss in the ass. My phone rang for about 10 mins after that, with people calling me to remind me of that horrific day

[pokerdirty]

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Like others, I didn't do this intentionally but I could've avoided it.

I was in 5th grade music class and we were just coming back to our seats from a little game we played at the front of the room. Well, a bastard kid who sat beside me decided to hold a freshly sharpened pencil on my chair so I would sit down on it. I should've looked before I sat down I guess because it went straight through my mesh basketball shorts I was wearing. Lucky for me I didn't sit down directly in the middle because that would've involved extensive surgery I believe. The pencil went 3 1/2 inches through my ass cheek, about 1/2 inch away from my brown eye and a few centimeters away from my colon. It remarkably did not hurt at all. So what's a kid to do? I just stand up and leave the class... don't tell my teacher or nothing. I walk into the nurses office and tell her that I sat on a pencil. I'm not sure what her reaction was because I was pretty flustered. I was sweating a lot and she gave me the option of riding in the backseat of my grandma's car or taking an ambulance to the hospital. I chose grandma. So two of the bigger male teachers come and lift me into the backseat so I can lay on my stomach. We get to the hospital and they do some x-rays and crap. I get a few shots in my ass, one that sent terrible pains down my entire right leg, i'm thinking a tetnis shot. Well about 4 doctors huddle around and they start to pull. The pencil didn't come out easy, it was lodged in the bone. When it did start to come out, it hurt really really really bad. Somehow the pencil did not break.

So I went through school being called 'pencil ass' til about 10th grade. I'm not sure if any of you remember this super bowl commercial, but it involved a guy throwing a pencil through his office ceiling and impailing his boss in the ass. My phone rang for about 10 mins after that, with people calling me to remind me of that horrific day

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A+, gives new meaning to SIIHP [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Dex]

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Like others, I didn't do this intentionally but I could've avoided it.

I was in 5th grade music class and we were just coming back to our seats from a little game we played at the front of the room. Well, a bastard kid who sat beside me decided to hold a freshly sharpened pencil on my chair so I would sit down on it. I should've looked before I sat down I guess because it went straight through my mesh basketball shorts I was wearing. Lucky for me I didn't sit down directly in the middle because that would've involved extensive surgery I believe. The pencil went 3 1/2 inches through my ass cheek, about 1/2 inch away from my brown eye and a few centimeters away from my colon. It remarkably did not hurt at all. So what's a kid to do? I just stand up and leave the class... don't tell my teacher or nothing. I walk into the nurses office and tell her that I sat on a pencil. I'm not sure what her reaction was because I was pretty flustered. I was sweating a lot and she gave me the option of riding in the backseat of my grandma's car or taking an ambulance to the hospital. I chose grandma. So two of the bigger male teachers come and lift me into the backseat so I can lay on my stomach. We get to the hospital and they do some x-rays and crap. I get a few shots in my ass, one that sent terrible pains down my entire right leg, i'm thinking a tetnis shot. Well about 4 doctors huddle around and they start to pull. The pencil didn't come out easy, it was lodged in the bone. When it did start to come out, it hurt really really really bad. Somehow the pencil did not break.

So I went through school being called 'pencil ass' til about 10th grade. I'm not sure if any of you remember this super bowl commercial, but it involved a guy throwing a pencil through his office ceiling and impailing his boss in the ass. My phone rang for about 10 mins after that, with people calling me to remind me of that horrific day

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One of the mods seriously needs to change your title to Pencil Ass.

[kurosh]

Pissed off my little brother. He's 4 years younger than me. I'd guess I was around 12. We only had one computer and I needed to do homework for class. I told him to get off, but he wouldn't. I got sick of his [censored] so I just turned it off while he was playing a game. Big mistake. He goes completely apeshit, screaming something about goblins, picks up a wooden stool and starts spinning it around. I hide in the corner in fetal position. Everything goes black for a second after a huge CRACK. He threw the [censored] stool at my head. I get up, see the broken stool, touch my head, notice my hand completely covered with blood and then proceed to join him in screaming.

[pokerdirty]

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Pissed off my little brother. He's 4 years younger than me. I'd guess I was around 12. We only had one computer and I needed to do homework for class. I told him to get off, but he wouldn't. I got sick of his [censored] so I just turned it off while he was playing a game. Big mistake. He goes completely apeshit, screaming something about goblins, picks up a wooden stool and starts spinning it around. I hide in the corner in fetal position. Everything goes black for a second after a huge CRACK. He threw the [censored] stool at my head. I get up, see the broken stool, touch my head, notice my hand completely covered with blood and then proceed to join him in screaming.

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pwned by a 8 year old. C

[JaBlue]

I tried and failed to put a bunson burner out with my finger in highschool chemistry. Didn't get that injured, really, but it hurt like a mother.

Also was playing tag about age 8. "It" is chasing me so I run up a hill. The hill goes up to a point where it is about 10 feet above the ground - just low enough for me to jump off and escape "it." I jump, not noticing that the hill is lined with huge rocks. I trip on the rock, go horizontal, and land flat on my chin. Earned me quite a few stitches. They called my mom, who is a doctor, to come pick me up, and I said "NO! I WANT DADDY!!!!"

[pokerdirty]

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I tried and failed to put a bunson burner out with my finger in highschool chemistry. Didn't get that injured, really, but it hurt like a mother.

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F

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Also was playing tag about age 8. "It" is chasing me so I run up a hill. The hill goes up to a point where it is about 10 feet above the ground - just low enough for me to jump off and escape "it." I jump, not noticing that the hill is lined with huge rocks. I trip on the rock, go horizontal, and land flat on my chin. Earned me quite a few stitches. They called my mom, who is a doctor, to come pick me up, and I said "NO! I WANT DADDY!!!!"

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C-

C'mon dude, you can't follow up Pencil Ass with that!

[ddubois]

I have never done anything dumb that involved injury to myself. (Unless you count a bar fight, which I do not.) I have also never broken a bone.