ESPN Wanna-Be Report (long, low content, just a witness...lol)

[juanez]

OK, I've been flamed before for poking fun at sunglass-donning yoots (I'm sorry, yooooouths your honor... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]) for acting like fools at the table. And I never meant that all young players are jerks, but some are. Just like some old players are jerks. So, I won't reveal the age of the following ESPN Wanna-Be I spotted tonight to avoid any age-related dispute.

This guy was in seat #3 tonight. I never saw him before. When I pushed into this 2/4 game I saw the sunglasses. No big whoop. But this guy also had a medium weight ski jacket on (we're in Colorado here). The kind that has a collar that can be zipped up to your nose if it's freezing outside, covering your mouth, ears and most of your face. It was zipped all the way up. Ball cap on, bill pulled down so low it almost touched his nose. Again, no big whoop.

This guy never moved more than necessary...totally stoic, didn't have a drink or a smoke, only spoke when necessary, acted very slowly, taking his sweet time like he was thinking intensely before acting - every hand. This is 2/4 here. That's fine, I don't really care about all that.

This is what pissed me off a bit: At first, he would make a call or raise by putting his chips about a millimeter in front of his cards. He would also "fold" by dropping his cards down a millimeter in front of his chips but leave his hands hovering above the cards. Being nice, I asked every time, "You're mucking these?" before swiping them way. He'd just make a barely perceptible nod. He was slowing the game down a lot.

An old guy in seat #2, an every-night regular named John who is cool as hell, said to him that he should place his chips out a bit farther so the dealer (me) could reach them more easily. We have no "race-track" drawn on the felt at the Gilpin (fine with me frankly).

One of the few times the guy spoke, he responded to John and said that he "liked to keep his chips close to him". John's response was, "Son, you call a bet or raise a bet and those chips ain't yers anymore, they're the pot's chips. They only become yers again if you win the hand."

I thought this was great, as did a few at the table who chuckled. I said nothing of course and just continued.

He continued doing the "barely recognizable as a call or raise" thing for a few more hands. Then John said again, "Christ son, these dealers arms are only so long, give em a break."

Thereafter, the guy began rainbowing his chips into the pot, throwing them into the air so they splashed the pot, rolling all over, etc. Twice he did this before I said, "Please don't splash the pot sir." Another guy at the table said something like "Yeah, man. The act is getting old."

He then reverted back to the millimeter-in-front-of-his-cards style of calling or raising.

A few hands later, one of the players remarks how it was a little warm in the room - and it was warm in my opinion. Then another guy says, "Yeah, how can The Invisible Man down there take it?" The table erupts in laughter. I contain myself as best I can.

In two 30 minute downs, I never pushed one pot to this guy so I have no experience with him as far as tipping dealers, but others say he was a ZERO tipper.

The Invisible Man stuck around for a few hours, continuing his charade, losing a few racks of white. [img]/images/graemlins/smirk.gif[/img] A few of us dealers were dicussing him after work while sucking down a few brews.

I don't know, maybe I just don't understand. But acting like a douche at the table seems to be -EV to me. Being a nice, congenial person, but still being a formidable opponent, seems the way to win money from strangers IMHO. I mean, why piss everyone off while making yourself look like a clown?

[steamboatin]

There are many reasons for playing poker and money is only one and maybe not the primary one at that.

This dude was getting some kind of satisfaction from the game and from reading your post, someone else was getting his chips.

I play low limits and I consider myself in the entertainment business more so than the gambling business. I want to make sure everyone at the table has a good time so they stay loose and relaxed.

PS. Any post with a "My Cousin Vinny" reference has to be all right.

[lawpoker]

didn't you immediatly recognize this guy as phil hellmuth?

[The Ocho]

[ QUOTE ]
But acting like a douche at the table seems to be -EV to me.

[/ QUOTE ]

Perhaps he was just a douche.

Or maybe you were on a hidden camera show.

[WWJFergusonD?]

Sounds like it might be fun to wear one on these in his exalted presence:

http://www.funnypokershirts.com/cata...log-36full.htm

[img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]

[Big Business]

I'm very glad you threw the age thing in there that people of all ages can be pricks. I hate being treated like that because I am young...I am only 24 and have been playing 9 years and the WPT stuff doesn't piss me off but I do think it's funny.

Especially at a 2/4 table. When I play most of the time its the really old people that are bastards to the dealers. I would much rather somebody look like an idiot than be an ass to people. This guy seemed like a combination of both. Hope you took some good pots off of him!!

[admo415]

I think he was dealing

[BottlesOf]

Clearly this guy was an ass, and if I was playing at the table I would not have stood for it and done my best to fix the situation--which would probably have been trying politely at first, and devolve into just relentless making fun of him. I have zero patience for assholes that ruin the game for everyone.

[Photoc]

[ QUOTE ]
I'm sorry, yooooouths your honor... )

[/ QUOTE ]

Nice "My Cousin Vinny" quote you got there, lol.

[nolanfan34]

I played with a guy like this the other night. He spent the first 20 min at the table with an unlit cigarette in his mouth (it's a non-smoking room). Eventually he left, and must have finally smoked it, because he came back to the table without it.

Anyway, every time it was his turn to act, he'd take forever, like he was really considering his decision. Then he'd slowwwwwly count out chips. You could practically see his lips moving along with it...one...two...three....four...

The funniest though was when he was berating an older woman regular who took down a pot against him with two-pair, 8s and 7s. "What are you doing in there with 87 offsuit, that's just terrible poker, you got lucky on the turn, river, etc." The funny part was, he was reading the board backwards, like she had turned and rivered the two pair, when in fact she had it on the flop. He was just a jackass.

Not surprisingly, he took down a big pot later when he called a raise PF from the SB with 42o, and flopped trips. I guess that was good poker.