My friends baptism

dr. klopek · #1 02-24-2005, 06:40 AM

I have known my friend since we were thirteen. He came to my grade school and we started making mischief. We have been good friends for about ten years now.

We've always sort of been the same "philosophically," not religious (despite going to catholic schools), cool with drinking and drugs (not, you know, "drugs"), down with pre-marital sex. Anti racism, homophobia, evil, etc.

I talked to him a couple weeks ago after not seeing him for a while, and he mentioned that he was going to a bible study. He had mentioned to me before that he had started hanging out with some kids from school that were all churchy n s[/i]hit, and they had been inviting him to a bible study. I didn't really think much of it.

So, he called me up on Friday night and asked me what I was doing on Sunday, and if I would come to his baptism. I told him I would. (I'm "skeptical" at best about religions.) I support it if he thinks it can make him better and happier, however, so I was happy to go. I found out at the (to my mind, cultish) baptism that no one there had known him for more than three weeks.

I was talking to him today about it, and he was telling me that the church that he has become a part of is christians who believe that the bible is one hundred percent divinely inspired. I asked him if the people at his church would say that I'm going to hell. He told me yes. I asked him if he would vote against allowing gay marriage. He told me yes. They believe everything that the bible says (though I don't know if they're literalists like creationists or whatever, if they are, it's worse than I thought).

This group of people embodies one of the things that I hate the worst about religion.

Is my friend my ideological enemy?

college_boy · #2 02-24-2005, 06:49 AM

No Christian that I am aware of believes everything the Bible says. Or better said, I don't think any argue that everything in the Bible is meant for them. Many of my friends are Christians so I just try to stay away from any controversial topics because one of us usually ends up getting mad. Just continue to be his friend and if you believe his intentions are good accept him regardless of your differences. Some people just aren't as smart....seriously

dr. klopek · #3 02-24-2005, 06:56 AM

He thinks I am going to hell, that I am a bad person.

daryn · #4 02-24-2005, 06:59 AM

oh well, a lot of people think a lot of things about me.

Caruso329 · #5 02-24-2005, 07:00 AM

A true Christian will try to save you and get you to see the error of your ways. Expect your friend to start talking to you about Jesus, wanting you to come to church with him, etc. If you want to stay friends, I advise telling him to shut the [censored] up about his religion while you're together. Tell him that you'll deal with God when you feel like it and you don't want encouragement. As a friend he should respect this decision.

dr. klopek · #6 02-24-2005, 08:03 AM

[ QUOTE ]
A true Christian will try to save you and get you to see the error of your ways. Expect your friend to start talking to you about Jesus, wanting you to come to church with him, etc. If you want to stay friends, I advise telling him to shut the [censored] up about his religion while you're together. Tell him that you'll deal with God when you feel like it and you don't want encouragement. As a friend he should respect this decision.

[/ QUOTE ]

He, knowing the way I feel about this, has told me that he will not try to convert me. It's respectful, I guess, but it's sort of worse, in a way.

The Dude · #7 02-24-2005, 11:53 AM

[ QUOTE ]
He, knowing the way I feel about this, has told me that he will not try to convert me. It's respectful, I guess, but it's sort of worse, in a way.

[/ QUOTE ]
I'm confused. Do you want him to talk to you about it or not? In fact, I guess that's a good question to ask yourself. What do you expect out of this friendship now? He's changed (and will continue to change), so he won't be looking for the same thing either. If you still want to get drunk, smoke weed, and chase women (or whatever) with him, then forget it. It's unfair of you to encourage him to do any of those.

Do you want to have non-accusatory, intellegent conversation with him about why he's changing, or do you not? Remember, that goes both ways. If you don't want to hear about why he became a Christian, then you don't get to tell him why you'll never be one.

If you think it's going to be too much work to keep a good friendship with someone this different, then give it up. That's not necessarily a bad thing. We've all abandoned friendships as we've grown up - people's lives go down different paths. There's no shame in recognizing when your path diverges from a friend's.

That said, the friend I remain closest to today is philospohically very different from me. He's a Jehova's Witness, and I am not. Needless to say he doesn't approve of my profession (poker) and I think he's nuts for several of things he believes. But we're great friends anyway.

It all boils down to what you expect/ want from the friendship.

SCfuji · #8 02-24-2005, 10:23 AM

i feel that he may have rushed into the conversion into Christianity, but everybody is different. it took me awhile to get comfortable enough to give my life to Jesus. it may seem annoying, but he will want you to join him either at his Church or another. before that happens, however, do try and get him to understand where you stand about his choice and yours and the differences between the two. otherwise you will just despise each other - you for being so unappreciative of his efforts to save you and him for being a pestering Jesus freak.

Amen
fuji

college_boy · #9 02-24-2005, 07:04 AM

[ QUOTE ]
He thinks I am going to hell, that I am a bad person.

[/ QUOTE ]

Yeah that sucks. But he also thinks he's naturally a bad person who just got "lucky" and doesn't deserve it either. However much being friends with somebody that thinks you're going to hell sucks; you'll have to weigh it against not being his friend at all. Which is worse?

craig r · #10 02-24-2005, 07:08 AM

[ QUOTE ]
He thinks I am going to hell, that I am a bad person.

[/ QUOTE ]

I don't think i could be friends with somebody that thought this about me.

on a side note, it is pretty easy to flip things around on born again christians. most that i have met (including close family members) are in no way "walking in Jesus' footseps," helping people, etc..In fact, I can honestly say some of the most hateful people I have met were born again christians. but, i always hoped this was just coincidence.

crsig