How do you tell your Best Friend his G/F Sucks!

Asufiji2004 · #1 07-19-2005, 02:03 PM

The Backround:

He and I...best friends for 10 years. They have been dating for 6 months. We have been friends since H.S. we went to the same college and roomed together for like 4 or 5 years. We were pretty tight. His jobs takes him to Norcal. He meets girl at work. He is 26, she is 18.

The problem:

She is very clingy and possessive. Within a day of meeting her, she tells me and my girlfriend that she hates him playing poker she thinks it's a waste of money. He loves to play poker, but has mysteriously stopped playing 100%. He blames the Norcal card rooms, I don't buy it. He confirms that whenever we talk through AIM she reads our IM's and listens to our conversations on the phone. I'm not sure if he is okay with it, but never says a thing to her. He isn't the toughest character, they were dropping "L" bombs within 4 weeks of dating each other. Historically he falls in love with girls easily, he's PW'ed. The last straw was an upcoming vacation. In June it was decided we would stay at one of the nicer hotels (for our girls) and do the poker rate. We would play during the day, they would lay out and shop and at night we eat, drink & party. All of the sudden his G/F thinks it would be a good idea if we stayed at a less expensive hotel so we don't "have to play poker" (exact quote). I knew something was up when he asked if I wanted to see "O"..he would have never ever ever been interested in this, but it's something the 18 yr old can do. So we've changed hotels and I'm pretty sure I'll be playing poker by myself or not at all. I can't ever talk to him about stuff, cause she is always lingering around. I don't want to be rude or hurt her feelings, but my boy needs to know what's up. She has quit her job, she has no goals, she sits at his apt. all day. He is her meal ticket. Oh and she answers his phone if she doesn't recognize the number and she reads his text messages. I don't care if people don't think it's my place, he's my boy. This isn't his wife, it's his g/f of 6 months. So i'm looking for the best way to talk to him. Do I just come out with it, or lure him somewhere under false pretenses and then tell him. His brother even wants in on it. HELP ME OOT!

trying2learn · #2 07-19-2005, 02:04 PM

refer him to this thread.

samjjones · #3 07-19-2005, 02:08 PM

This thread is useless without pics

Asufiji2004 · #4 07-19-2005, 02:11 PM

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This thread is useless without pics

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I think I get what you are saying. She is 18, but not necessarily that attractive. Definately not hot enough to put up with this crap.

[censored] · #5 07-19-2005, 02:05 PM

Sorry to say it dude but you are going to lose this one.

Ulysses · #6 07-19-2005, 02:06 PM

Just tell him what you think. That's all you can do. Don't press the issue, just let him know what you think and then let him make whatever decision he wants to make.

Asufiji2004 · #7 07-19-2005, 02:10 PM

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Just tell him what you think. That's all you can do. Don't press the issue, just let him know what you think and then let him make whatever decision he wants to make.

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This is pretty much what I intend on doing. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings or even get him to dump her. I just want him to wake up and see what's goin on.

bernie · #8 07-19-2005, 02:20 PM

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Just tell him what you think. That's all you can do. Don't press the issue, just let him know what you think and then let him make whatever decision he wants to make.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is pretty much what I intend on doing. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings or even get him to dump her. I just want him to wake up and see what's goin on.

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Realize that saying anything even remotely disparaging to him about her will likely have the effect of making him closer to her. He will likely resent you. Even though you guys were once tight. I wouldn't just get him alone and unload about his g/f. He won't listen. You have to frame it a certain way. Even make up some good points about her if you have to so it isn't just a rant about her to him. Remember, you're criticizing someone who is making him happy. As sick as it looks.

Be prepared because you could lose a friend here for awhile after approaching him about this. I had to take that into consideration when I had to turn down a close friend who asked me to be his best man at his wedding because of what I thought of his fiancee who at the time, nobody could stand. Thankfully everything turned out OK on that one, but it is a minefield.

Good luck.

b

Asufiji2004 · #9 07-19-2005, 02:27 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Just tell him what you think. That's all you can do. Don't press the issue, just let him know what you think and then let him make whatever decision he wants to make.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is pretty much what I intend on doing. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings or even get him to dump her. I just want him to wake up and see what's goin on.

[/ QUOTE ]

Remember, you're criticizing someone who is making him happy. As sick as it looks.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not sure about this one. I know he misses playing poker, cause he told me. Whenever he visits he always makes sure my G/F is there to keep her off his back..as he puts it. I do get what ur saying though. I'm not gonna ambush him and "go off".. It will be tame and calm.

bernie · #10 07-19-2005, 02:56 PM

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
Just tell him what you think. That's all you can do. Don't press the issue, just let him know what you think and then let him make whatever decision he wants to make.

[/ QUOTE ]

This is pretty much what I intend on doing. I'm not trying to hurt anyone's feelings or even get him to dump her. I just want him to wake up and see what's goin on.

[/ QUOTE ]

Remember, you're criticizing someone who is making him happy. As sick as it looks.

[/ QUOTE ]

I'm not sure about this one. I know he misses playing poker, cause he told me. Whenever he visits he always makes sure my G/F is there to keep her off his back..as he puts it. I do get what ur saying though. I'm not gonna ambush him and "go off".. It will be tame and calm.

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Remember, the pussy is a powerful thing [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img]. If he's already using the 'L' word that soon...

But it may also go over better than you think. Wouldn't you like to be in 'that' minority. lol

b