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#1
11-28-2005, 02:25 AM
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Trip report: 1st Time I used my Lap Top in the Head
So I am playing in a ***** tourny on my laptop last night. I almost always use my desk top, but my wife was doing some work. Anyway, about 5 minutes in I start eating on this carmel corn I bought from the Boy Scouts. I was focusing on the tourny, so I just kept munching away until the whole bag was gone.
It gets near the end of the tourny and I start getting rumblings. Turns out carmel corn makes you have to crap something fierce. I tried to fend it of, but I was in serious pain...so bad that sweat was pouring off my forehead. The tourny was down to 4 players so there was no way I could get away long enough to take care of business. I had read on 2p2 how some people played on the crapper, so I decided to go for it. Normally I would never do this as I am a germaphobe and I wouldn't want to expose the laptop to fecal matter, but given the carmel corn eruption that was brewing in my ass, there was really no choice. So I get in the bathroom and I set the laptop down on the floor. I pull down my pants and start to sit. My knees wern't even at right angles when my a-hole burst. It sounded like water being dumped off a tent canopy after a night of rain. Anyway, as I am checking for splatter on my thighs and balls, I hear the laptop beep at me. First thing I notice is that the touch pad has been hit by a slug size droplet of diarhea. Next thing I notice is that the left click button is also code brown. The worst part was that you could still see a piece of caramel corn on the left click button. I carefully took my turn, finish out the tourny on the pot and clean up. So today my wife and I are looking at movie times on line. I hear her say "what is this" and my heart skipped a beat. She found two spots near the base of the monitor. As I am cleaning those up she starts looking between the keys of the keyboard and finds splatter on those too. I made up a story that I had been sneezing on the laptop which I think she bought (plausible because I am sick from the flu shot...an argument for another thread). Has anyone done anything worse to their laptop? Can anyone top this? Stories involving bodily fluids and porn are welcome. Anyway, thought OOT would appreciate this one. If something similar has already been posted flame away, I blame the search function. 
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#2
11-28-2005, 02:26 AM
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Re: Trip report: 1st Time I used my Lap Top in the Head
Burn this machine post haste
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#3
11-28-2005, 02:28 AM
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Re: Trip report: 1st Time I used my Lap Top in the Head
Heh, funny timing....just today I learned about the #1 logistical challenge of 9-tabling.
p.s. eating Smartfood while reading your post, strange experience...
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#4
11-28-2005, 02:30 AM
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Re: Trip report: 1st Time I used my Lap Top in the Head
[ QUOTE ]
Anyway, thought OOT would appreciate this one. [/ QUOTE ] You thought wrong. [ QUOTE ] If something similar has already been posted flame away, I blame the search function. [/ QUOTE ] Yeah we get "I sh*t on my laptop" threads weekly. Please don't post again.
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#5
11-28-2005, 02:35 AM
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Re: Trip report: 1st Time I used my Lap Top in the Head
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] Anyway, thought OOT would appreciate this one. [/ QUOTE ] You thought wrong. [ QUOTE ] If something similar has already been posted flame away, I blame the search function. [/ QUOTE ] Yeah we get "I sh*t on my laptop" threads weekly. Please don't post again. [/ QUOTE ] Agreed. This sounds like it belongs in WPT to me.
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#7
11-28-2005, 03:36 AM
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Re: Trip report: 1st Time I used my Lap Top in the Head
[ QUOTE ]
This sounds like it belongs in WPT to me. [/ QUOTE ] I nominate the Internet Forum instead... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] RB
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#8
11-28-2005, 03:40 AM
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Re: Trip report: 1st Time I used my Lap Top in the Head
[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ] This sounds like it belongs in WPT to me. [/ QUOTE ] I nominate the Internet Forum instead... [img]/images/graemlins/grin.gif[/img] RB [/ QUOTE ] Yeah, this is definite Zoo material. And I found the story very funny. But how the hell do you shoot stuff out while sitting on the toilet? You must be rather skinny, have a huge toilet, or both?? [img]/images/graemlins/confused.gif[/img]
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#9
11-28-2005, 04:05 AM
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Re: Trip report: 1st Time I used my Lap Top in the Head
[ QUOTE ]
And I found the story very funny. But how the hell do you shoot stuff out while sitting on the toilet? You must be rather skinny, have a huge toilet, or both?? [/ QUOTE ] I think what happened was that I "opened the hatch" before I was sitting the whole way down. As a result the crap splashed in the toilet and came back out between my legs. I am skinny and the toilet is pre-water conservation so it is big and very full of water. There was also carmel crap on the back of the toilet,the bath mat, and all over my balls. God Damn Boy Scouts!
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#10
11-28-2005, 04:10 AM
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Re: Trip report: 1st Time I used my Lap Top in the Head
[ QUOTE ]
Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Anyway, thought OOT would appreciate this one. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- You thought wrong. Quote: -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- If something similar has already been posted flame away, I blame the search function. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Yeah we get "I sh*t on my laptop" threads weekly. Please don't post again. [/ QUOTE ] I guess I was worried because people are so provincial on here. Thanks for proving me wrong.
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